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Throughout its first 25 years, Major League Soccer has seen players from all different corners of the globe, each with their own career story. Whether it be a guy like Tim Melia or Chris Wondolowski who were scrappy guys that came out of nowhere to be stars in this league, or world famous names such as Zlatan, Beckham, and Henry, the league's history of big names is as diverse as they come.
Let's take a look at the best player from each country around the globe. This will be based on national team allegiance. Today, we'll be leading with Europe!
Please note that this is my opinion, and in some cases the decisions were tough; I'll be sure to add in honorable mentions where I can, or add notes.
Albania: Shkëlzen Gashi ( COL 2016-18)
Short list to pick from here, as Gashi's only competition is Jahmir Hyka and Hamdi Salihi. Gashi gets the nod, if nothing else, for his huge 2016 season, where he scored 10 regular season goals (one of which was that year's Goal of the Year) as the Rapids damn near won the Shield. The madlad then went and one-upped that with his absurd equalizer in the playoffs against the Galaxy.
His last two years weren't as fruitful, but man, when he was on he could pull something out of nowhere.
Armenia: Yura Movsisyan ( KC 2006-07, RSL 2007-09 & 2016-18, CHI 2018)
Four choices here, although in the end it's Movsisyan winning out over Harut Karapetyan, who played a couple seasons in the 90s for the Galaxy, San Jose, and Tampa Bay. The fourth pick in a strong 2006 MLS SuperDraft out of Pasadena City College, Movsisyan is mostly associated with RSL, who acquired him in a 2007 trade. With the Claret and Cobalt, he would tally 15 goals in 53 regular season appearances, and in 2009 he'd hoist the club's first MLS Cup. That'd be his last game with RSL until 2016 after some time in Europe with Randers, Krasnodar, and Spartak Moscow (even sharing the Russian PL Golden Boot in 2012/13 with Wanderson). He'd put up a similar clip of 16 in 57 before being waived and finishing his MLS career with four scoreless games with Chicago.
Austria: Daniel Royer ( NYRB 2016-pres.)
The choice here was largely Royer vs. Andreas Ivanschitz, who was a regular starter for Seattle's first MLS Cup, but I can't say no to a man with over 100 MLS matches played and three straight 10-goal seasons. In all comps, the former Austria Vienna man is just two goals behind Thierry Henry for third on the Red Bulls' all time goal scoring list.
Belarus: Sasha Gotsmanov ( COL 2005)
Gotsmanov qualifies by default as the only Belarusian player in MLS history. The Minsk native (and son of former Soviet and Belarusian international Sergei Gotsmanov) played one (1) single game for Colorado in October 2005, against RSL.
Belgium: Laurent Ciman ( MTL 2015-17, LAFC 2018, TFC 2019-pres.)
Shouts to Roland Lamah, who had his moments in Dallas, and Jelle van Damme, who played a season and a half for the Galaxy, but Ciman is the obvious choice. While he's fallen off a cliff as he's gotten older, he's a three-time All-Star and won Defender of the Year in his first MLS season; in his second, he played for Belgium at Euro 2016. At 35, he's lost a step and probably should only be used in emergencies, but at his best he was an elite MLS center back that could also be deployed at right back.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Haris Medunjanin ( PHI 2017-19, CIN 2020-pres.)
The first one where I'm not totally confident in my pick, as Baggio Hušidić made this tricky (and as a Union fan I'm afraid of bias). But at his best, Haris is an assist machine (30 in four MLS seasons so far), and a threat on set pieces; the madlad even scored an Olimpico this year. His left foot is probably the best the Union have ever had. While his commitment to defense was nonexistent, give him the ball and he could spray a pass anywhere.
Bulgaria: Hristo Stoichkov ( CHI 2000-02, DC 2003)
One of three former Ballon d'Or winners to play in MLS (the others being Lothar Matthaus and Kaka, although "playing" is generous for the former), Stoichkov spent the last four seasons of his career in MLS, scoring 22 goals in 72 regular season matches for Chicago and DC. In his first season, a 9 goal in 18 match outing for the Fire, he also won the US Open Cup, scoring the opening goal of the final, a 2-1 win over Miami. (The winning goal, by the way, was scored by our old friend Owen Goal.)
Croatia: Damir Kreilach ( RSL 2018-pres.)
Mr. Miyagi's favorite MLS player for his crane kick equalizer in the playoffs, the former Rijeka and Union Berlin man has proven to be an excellent utility piece and core part of RSL throughout his time there, scoring 26 goals and chipping in 14 assists in 86 regular season matches and playing all over the damn place (naturally a central midfielder, he's probably still RSL's best forward). At 31, he still has a lot to give.
MLS has seen a huge influx of Croats lately, though; before Kreilach's 2018 signing there had only been four Croatian players in MLS history, two of whom barely played. Currently, there are five on active rosters.
Czechia: Luboš Kubík ( CHI 1998-2001, DAL 2001)
Czech players have had a good hit rate in MLS. In his lone MLS season, Bořek Dočkal led the league in assists, and Zdeněk Ondrášek was a very solid piece for Dallas, albeit one whose MLS time was brief.
But no. We have to go with Kubik. The sweeper was Best XI twice, in 1998 and 1999, and won Defender of the Year in 1998 helping Chicago to a MLS Cup-Open Cup double. He'd win another Open Cup two years later, before being traded to Dallas in 2001 and retiring due to injury.
So many lethal counterattacks started on the foot of this man, and he is rightfully seen as one of the greatest defenders the league has ever seen.
Denmark: Jimmy Nielsen ( KC 2010-13)
I debated going WAYYYYYYY off the board here and throwing out Miklos Molnar. His time in MLS was brief, just the 2000 season before he retired, but the man was the best attacking piece on a Cup winner. He could have balled out if he didn't retire early.
But nah. We're going with Casino Jimmy, one of the keys towards Kansas City's early 2010s turnaround. A two time All-Star, Nielsen was Goalkeeper of the Year in 2012, a year that also saw him win the Open Cup with the Wiz (on penalties, because KC and penalties, name a more iconic duo at this point). In 2013, he capped off his career by winning MLS Cup, again on penalties, while playing with broken ribs.
England: Bradley Wright-Phillips ( 2013-2019, LAFC 2020)
This league, man.
The list of English players to have represented in MLS is a long one, full of iconic names. Ashley Cole. David Beckham. Frank Lampard. Steven Gerrard. Jermain Defoe. Wayne Rooney. Hell, even Bradley's brother Shaun.
But nope. Many of those guys are the butt of many MLS jokes. BWP, on the other hand, is one of the greatest goal scorers the league has ever seen, with two Golden Boots to his name and well over a century of league goals. He was a part of 3 Shield winning teams, and made CONCACAF's Best XI in 2018.
And it all started with a quiet trial in 2013 after Charlton dumped him. This. League.
And This. Man. Even as a fan of Philly who doesn't care much for the Red Bulls, I respect this dude and everything he's done. I hope he gets another year after winning Comeback Player of the Year this year.
Estonia: Joel Lindpere ( NYRB 2010-12, CHI 2013)
The only other option here was Erik Sorga, who could dethrone Lindpere as he came to MLS at a very young age. But it's unlikely, as Lindpere was quietly very solid for the Red Bulls during his time. The Tallinn native was a two-time All-Star, and in 2010 he was named the Red Bulls' team MVP.
Finland: Alex Ring ( NYC 2017-2020, AUS pres.)
T O P I C A L
There's a few fairly talented Finns in MLS right now that could make this interesting (I really like Robin Lod's game, and Lassi Lappelainen would be excellent for Montreal if he'd stop getting hurt). Ring however has proven his worth across 4 seasons, including time as NYC's captain. Over 10,000 MLS minutes, mostly for good teams, as a defensive anchor, he will be a fantastic tone-setter for the new Austin team.
France: Thierry Henry ( NYRB 2010-14)
Oh man, as an Ireland fan I wanted to give this to literally anyone else. I am still bitter, dammit.
His best competition is probably Aurelien Collin, who has a closetful of trophies (including a Best XI and MLS Cup MVP). But no...it's Henry.
When a big name comes to MLS, what people want to see is someone who treats the league with respect. Henry did that. Not only was he dominant on the pitch, a three-time Best XI nomination, he also respected the history of the club he played for and gave 100%, even though he was getting up there in the years. He's a Red Bulls and MLS legend...as much as I curse that godforsaken hand
Georgia: Valeri "Vako" Qazaishvili ( SJ 2017-20)
It looks like the San Jose chapter of Vako's career is done and dusted. While the former Vitesse man struggled for consistency, he did put up 26 goals and 13 assists across four MLS seasons for the Quakes, including 10 while being coached by Mikael Stahre, which should probably get him and Wondo some sort of award.
We'll see what's next for him, if he leaves MLS or goes back to Europe. His only competition was Quakes teammate Guram Kashia.
Germany: Bastian Schweinsteiger ( CHI 2017-19)
I'm...actually not sure about this one. I actually changed this while writing, as I very nearly chose Julian Gressel; the former Rookie of the Year has two 10-assist seasons under his belt, and Kai Wagner has also been one of the league's better fullbacks for Philadelphia; Schweinsteiger was solid enough for Chicago in his advanced age for some very frustrating teams (and even moved positions to center back!)...but man, I don't know.
Germany is weird. For a country with such a great footballing tradition, the pickings are fairly slim. Arne Friedrich had one good year for Chicago before injuries claimed his career. Lottar Matthaus was as committed to this league as Schalke are to winning football matches. Stefan Aigner was stifled by Anthony Hudson going galaxy brain. Torsten Frings...existed.
I dunno.
Greece: Alexandros Tabakis ( ATL 2017)
The only Greek in MLS history...and our second one game wonder. Atlanta's FOURTH string keeper in 2017, he managed to sneak into a game against Minnesota with Brad Guzan on international duty, Alec Kann injured, and Kyle Reynish sent off during the match.
Atlanta lost 3-2. He's now in USL.
Hungary: Nemanja Nikolić ( CHI 2017-19)
Dániel Sallói and Krisztián Németh had their moments, but the winner is Nikolić, who came to MLS from the Ekstraklasa and immediately won the Golden Boot. His totals diminished in the three seasons he spent with Chicago, but 51 goals in 96 appearances isn't too shabby at all - it's second in Fire history behind Ante Razov.
Iceland - Guðmundur Þórarinsson ( NYC 2020-pres.)
Not much choice, 3 guys, all of whom were mostly bench guys. I almost went with Kristinn Steindorsson here on the merits of "he didn't have a penalty saved by Rodrigo Schlegel."
Israel: Gadi Kinda ( SKC 2020-pres.)
It was either him or Dedi Ben Dayan, really. And I nearly went with the former Colorado left back, but nah, Kinda is very much the superior player. The midfielder born in Ethiopia, Kinda shone brightly in his first season in KC, with 6 goals and 4 assists in his debut season. He'll be a DP next season.
Italy: Sebastian Giovinco ( TOR 2015-18)
A signing that changed an entire club.
Before Giovinco, the Reds were a laughingstock. He came in, won a Golden Boot and MVP right away, led the league in assists, made Best XI three years in a row, led them to their first playoff game, their first MLS Cup final, their first MLS Cup win, and a historic treble. And they damn near won CCL too.
The Atomic Ant was must-see from Day 1. It's not just because of him that Toronto is now one of MLS's elite...but he was a huge part of changing that culture. 83 goals in 142 games in all comps. And he dished out his fair share of assists too, with a telepathic partnership with Jozy.
Latvia: Raivis Hščanovičs ( TOR 2010)
Not much to write about here. 14 games for a bad Reds team. Gets in by default with no other Latvian MLS players.
Liechtenstein: Nicholas Hasler ( TOR 2017-18, CHI 2018-19, SKC 2019)
Another one by default. 66 games as a utilityman. Won MLS Cup and the Shield, though.
Lithuania: Vytautas Andriuškevičius ( POR 2016-18, DC 2018)
Only other choice was Edgaras Jankauskas, a forward who played 14 games for the Revs. Vytas played 37 for Portland and zero for DC.
Luxembourg: Maxime Chanot ( NYC 2016-pres.)
Another one by default but this one's an actually really solid player that finished fourth in Defender of the Year voting in 2019. We take those.
Malta: Etienne Barbera ( VAN 2012)
2 games in 2012. Only Maltese player in MLS.
Montenegro: Branko Bošković ( DC 2010-12)
Pretty much every other Montenegrin player played less than 20 games in MLS. Bošković played 43 before returning to Europe for family reasons. 7 assists in his final season though, which is technically something.
Netherlands: Johan Kappelhof ( CHI 2016-pres.)
Much like Germany, bright footballing tradition, very shaky MLS history. Which is weird because the Eredivisie exports a lot of guys to MLS.
Also, I'm excluding Kelvin Leerdam, as he is probably changing his international allegiance to Suriname.
So I'm going with 2017 All-Star Kappelhof, who I think is still fairly solid.
But really the choices aren't great. Dave van den Burgh? Roland Alberg scored a hat trick once I guess? Danny Koevermans was decent but injured all the time?
Maybe it's a hot take. It probably is.
North Macedonia: Oka Nikolov ( PHI 2013)
Never actually played, only in a friendly. Watch this space though as North Macedonia is apparently courting LAFC's Danny Musovski.
Northern Ireland: Johnny Steele ( RSL 2012, NYRB 2013-14)
Another case of shaky opposition, it was either Steele or Steve Morrow, who played 41 games for Dallas in the aughts.
Steele played regularly for a Shield winner, the 2013 Red Bulls. Easy peasy.
Norway: ~~Vadim Demidov~~ Ola Kamara ( CLB 2016-17, LAG 2018, DC 2019-pres.)
Adama Diomande is the main competition here. Kamara's first stint in MLS was a smashing success, scoring 48 goals in 90 regular season matches for Columbus and the Galaxy (he was traded for Gyasi Zardes before 2018). A brief foray to China followed, and while he's back in MLS with DC he hasn't quite been the same.
Still a good player on his day, maybe just the Bennyball effect.
Poland: Piotr Nowak ( CHI 1998-2002)
When I think of early Chicago, Nowak and the earlier-mentioned Kubik are the first two names that come to mind. Kubik held down the back while Nowak was the chief creator in the midfield. Three-time best XI, three-time All-Star, and MLS Cup MVP.
...can I drink my water now?
Portugal: José Gonçalves ( NE 2013-16)
Gonçalves fell off a cliff in his latter years, but in his first MLS season he won Defender of the Year and in his second he was a key part of a team that made the MLS Cup final and damn near won the thing.
Runner up here is Nani who is probably closing in.
EDIT: I also forgot to mention Pedro Santos, thanks to the Crew fans who pointed that one out. I still think Gonçalves pips him for his 2013 if nothing else, but Santos is probably closer than Nani.
Republic of Ireland: Robbie Keane ( LAG 2011-16)
A LOT closer than you think; ~~Time Person of the Century~~ ~~Juventus legend~~ Ronnie O'Brien was two-time best XI himself.
But nonono. This is Robbie freaking Keane. When we see these big name Euro guys interested in MLS, this is the man we want them to be.
Hypercompetitive and holding guys accountable on and off the pitch, and scoring for fun. 83 goals in 125 MLS regular season appearances. Best XI four times. 2014 MVP. MLS Cup MVP in 2014. A closetful of team awards including 3 MLS Cups.
This man was a baller, and frankly his departure was the beginning of the Galaxy decline into irrelevance, but that's a story for another time.
Romania: Alexandru Mitriță ( NYC 2019-pres.?)
Question mark because he's on loan and I have no idea if it'll be permanent, ~~but he was punted out by the Pigeons just as he was really starting to break out~~. He scored 12 goals in his debut season last year but filled in nicely this year while Maxi Moralez was injured. EDIT: NYC fans have informed me he wasn't punted out, but was loaned out to be closer to his pregnant wife. My apologies.
Honorable mention: Alex Zotincă, who played for the Wizards and Chivas USA in the aughts. Brave man.
Russia: Igor Simutenkov ( KC 2002-04)
Not a lot to pick from here either. 49 games, 12 goals for this forward from Moscow, who now serves as an assistant coach at Zenit.
Scotland: John Spencer ( COL, 2001-04)
Give Johnny Russell another few years and he'll pass Spencer, but for now I'm leaning the latter. Spencer as a coach was frustrating as hell, but as a player he was Best XI twice and an MVP finalist once. Dude could score goals despite battling injuries in his time in MLS.
Just don't let him sign Kris Boyd. Then you lose to Cal FC. No one wants that.
Serbia: Aleksandar Katai ( 2018-19, 2020)
FROM A SPORTING PERSPECTIVE.
And mostly due to a weak pool. Runner up was probably someone like Miloš Kocić.
18 goals in 62 games for Chicago before getting yeeted back to Serbia for Bad People Reasons
Slovakia: Albert Rusnák ( RSL 2017-pres.)
He has tenure on Ján Greguš, who's the closest competitor, but Rusnák is also good. He followed up a 14-assist debut season (4th in the league) with back to back 10 goal seasons before struggling this year with injury.
Slovenia: Robert Berić ( CHI 2020-pres.)
Once he got acclimated to MLS, the goals came, and Chicago has its successor to Nikolić up top. He finished with 12 goals in his debut season, tied for second in the league with Ruidiaz and Zardes.
Also, from what I saw early on, seems like he's a dark-arts type of guy that gets in your head. That's fun.
Spain: David Villa ( NYC 2015-18)
I really didn't want to put him here due to recent allegations, and the fact that Pozuelo has already matched his MVP and two Best XI performances....
77 goals in 117 games though, that's tough to pass on.
Sweden: Zlatan Ibrahimović ( LAG 2018-19)
It's Zlatan.
He pretty much dragged a sorry LA organization to something resembling competitiveness.
What the hell did you expect?
(Anton Tinnerholm made this hard, though)
EDIT: Forgot Gustav Svensson as well in my honorable mentions.
Switzerland: Stefan Frei ( TOR 2009-13, SEA 2014-pres.)
Pretty self-explanatory, one of the most accomplished keepers in MLS history and with a closetful of hardware. And all it took Seattle to get him was a late first round pick that pinged around so much that it was eventually traded for a coach.
Turkey: Sercan Güvenışık ( SJ 2012)
5 games that year. No one else has flown the Turkish flag in MLS.
Ukraine: Dema Kovalenko ( CHI 1999-2002, DC 2002-05, NYRB 2006-08, RSL 2008, LAG 2008-10)
I'm afraid he'd break my legs if I didn't. One of the most physical and downright dirty players the league has ever seen. Made nearly 300 appearances though, and has one each of the 3 major US trophies (MLS Cup, USOC, Shield), all with a different team.
Wales: Andy Dorman ( NE 2004-07, 2013-15)
Dorman was a key part of that real good Revs team from the mid-aughts, and just beats out Carl Robinson. He made 112 appearances in his first stint, and played in 3 MLS Cup finals, though they famously lost all three. The Revs brought him back in 2013 after some time in Scotland and England, and was playing semipro in the area as recently as 2018.

Hey all,
I just published some research on what different countries are doing to entice entrepreneurs to relocate. Whether visas, grants, mentorship, coaching... there's a lot.
Question for the group: Would you consider relocating / moving your startup post-COVID?
Content:
Visas, Incentives, and More: Here’s What Countries are Doing to Attract Remote Companies
As lockdowns ease, more than a few entrepreneurs are thinking about what’s next for them and their businesses, especially if they’ve chosen to stay remote. As news hit about remote worker visas in Barbados, or as small towns and cities are more equipped than ever to lure weary big-city remote workers, you’ve got to ask… what about the founders?
Sure, remote founders can work from anywhere just like their teams. Where things get interesting, though, is that many countries are launching programs to lure entrepreneurs to relocate their businesses or start up a new company - and with them come access to public funds, free visas, and even a path to citizenship. As governments think about recovery from COVID and general growth for the future, a handful are getting serious about offering a lot of perks to entice entrepreneurs to relocate.
All programs have three key elements to them, though in differing quantities:

Accelerated / extended resident visa permits.
Access to the country’s startup support ecosystems.
Funding / financial support.

So if you’ve ever thought about relocating, being an entrepreneur is one of the fastest tickets out. In this article, I’ve highlighted a mix of programs, but it’s not necessarily exhaustive. I tried to focus on the programs with unique elements or that are easy to apply for. While large funding requirements or other hurdles may not be a problem for many companies, my goal here was to highlight the programs that work for the majority of entrepreneurs, including small businesses and freelancers who recently went remote.

France: La French Tech

France has a long history of artisan entrepreneurship but less in the big tech or digital scene. However, the government is hoping to change that with its La French Tech visa programs.
There are three kinds of La French Tech visas:

For entrepreneurs launching businesses in France.
For employees joining French startups.
For investors putting money into French startups.

The founder-focused program requires you to get accepted to one of France’s 30+ startup incubators and accelerators, so your ability to get in hinges on that acceptance.
France also has a unique program in the sense that it provides a 4 year visa automatically (most other programs only provide 1-2 year visas) and family members are automatically granted residency rights regardless of which visa you get. Finally, the program is diploma agnostic - it’s geared towards creative people and entrepreneurs, not necessarily only STEM grads like many other countries.
Internet connectivity is relatively high quality in cities, though it can be lacking in the countryside. If you’re relocating, check for good internet service first.
More info: https://lafrenchtech.com/en/how-france-helps-startups/french-tech-visa/

Startup Chile

Chile is hoping to attract entrepreneurs with cash, incentives, a visa, and the natural beauty of the country.
The Startup Chile program is actually an accelerator - billed as the “best accelerator in LatAm.” As part of the program, though, non-citizens are granted a one year visa to live in the country while building your company.
Highlights of the program are:

1 year visa.
Equity-free funding options to build your startup.
Up to $100k in perks / free offerings from their partners.
Connections with local businesses for validation, testing, and customer growth.

Chile is not known for blazing fast wifi, but if you’re in the accelerator and living within city boundaries, you should be alright.
More info: https://www.startupchile.org/

Startup Denmark

The kingdom of Denmark seriously wants entrepreneurs to relocate there. Named by the World Bank as the number one country in Europe for doing business, the country wants to further attract entrepreneurs.
The Startup Denmark program is geared to helping people realize the ease of doing business in Denmark, specifically:

Free, independent business advice provided through publicly-funded Business Development Centres in the country.
Focused clusters for cleantech, life science, design, and sustainable energy.
Access to funding through Innovation Fund Denmark and the Danish Growth Fund, both of which are available to non-citizens.

Internet connectivity and penetration is very high in Denmark, so high-tech companies (or even just remote companies with a lot of zoom meetings) should be just fine.
More info: https://startupdenmark.info/

Enterprise Ireland

The only English-speaking country on the euro, Ireland is a prime place for doing business. Its geographic location makes it easily accessible to Europe, the Middle East, North Africa, and North America, and its low corporate tax rate has already attracted major players including Google and Starbucks.
Enterprise Ireland has also launched an entrepreneur visa, which is specifically for entrepreneurs who can:

Feasibly create 10 jobs in Ireland within 3-4 years.
Raise 50,000 euros for the first founder and 30,000 additional euros per additional co-founder needing a visa.
Be controlled from Ireland.

Despite rigid sounding rules, the visa program is actually quite flexible. For instance, the fundraising requirements can be through almost any funding option, including using your own money and not taking any investment dollars. Further, the notion of being “controlled” from Ireland is more flexible than other countries that require a certain percentage of business to be done in the country for founders to be eligible for a visa.
More info: https://www.enterprise-ireland.com/en/Start-a-Business-in-Ireland/Startups-from-Outside-Ireland/

EntrePass Singapore

Singapore took the world markets by storm in the past few decades, going from a small island nation with no natural resources to a global hub of finance and casinos. Now, the country wants to be known as a hub for global entrepreneurship.
The EntrePass in Singapore grants founders a 2 year visa to live in Singapore while building a business. Like other programs (France, for example), businesses must be accepted into an accelerator in order for the founders to qualify for a visa. However, where Singapore adds a bit of strictness is two-fold:

The business must be net-new or less than 6 months old at the time of application. This program is only for new businesses.
Your business must be accepted into a government-backed accelerator or receive funding from a government-backed investor.

The Singaporean government is usually tolerant with expats, but the laws on the island can be incredibly strict. The program can be amazing for new entrepreneurs, though, especially given Singapore’s strategic location and relatively low taxes.
More info: https://www.startupdecisions.com.sg/singapore/relocation/entrepass/

Italia Startup Visa

Known for fine leathers, fashion, and amazing food, Italy is now hoping to become known as a centre of innovation.
The country offers two kinds of visas for non-EU entrepreneurs:

Italia Startup Visa
Italia Startup Hub

The Visa is made for entrepreneurs who aren’t currently in Italy but want to relocate there to start / scale their business. The Hub option is for people already in Italy who want to stay and launch a business (I think Italy caught onto the fact that people sitting in gorgeous villages sipping a coffee might just want to stick around).
Visa programs came about through Italy’s “Decree 179/2012,” which is the country’s program to explicitly attract what they deem ‘innovative startups’ to the country. In general, innovative startups by Italy’s definition are technology companies that either invest more than 15% of their revenues to R&D, employ PhD-level researchers full-time, or own patents for inventions or ‘original software.’
The visa lasts for 1 year, but is renewable for another 2 years. While business taxes in Italy can be fairly high, the relatively low cost of living can balance those costs out.
More info: http://italiastartupvisa.mise.gov.it/

SMART Visa Thailand

Thailand is one of the only programs to highlight that spouses and children are automatically granted residency (along with France) - and that your spouse will have a work visa included in their residency permit as well.
The country’s SMART visa program has four tiers:

S - Startup.
T - Talent.
E - Executives.
I - Investors.

S visas are explicitly for entrepreneurs and startup founders, and have three options: a 2-year, a 1-year, and a 6-month visa. The 2-year program is for designated high-tech startups, the 1-year for incubator and accelerator-backed startups of all varieties, and the 6-month visa is intended for sales and promotion in Thai markets as opposed to setting up shop in Thailand.
More info: https://smart-visa.boi.go.th/smart/pages/smart_s.html

Startup Visa Lithuania

A Baltic country bordering Poland and Latvia by land and Denmark and Sweden by sea, Lithuania has some of the fastest internet on the planet and gorgeous medieval towns and sea views.
The visa program is part of Startup Lithuania, a government-backed organization geared towards helping Lithuania succeed in global markets.
Recognizing that many people have probably heard the name “Lithuania” but don’t know much about it, the Startup Visa program focuses heavily on soft landings with guides on how to relocate, connections to other relocated workers and entrepreneurs, and links into the country’s extensive support programs for businesses.
More info: https://startupvisalithuania.com/about-us/

Startup Estonia

The original “digital society,” Estonia is regularly in the news for how connected their society is. The internet is fast, citizenship is digital, and the country even launched a remote worker visa to entice more people to relocate.
On the entrepreneur side of things, Startup Estonia launched a Startup Visa to encourage entrepreneurs to relocate to Estonia. The program is very explicitly focused on technology-based companies with global market potential, but Estonia has the minimum required capital of all programs in Europe (you only have to prove you have around $2,000 USD for a one-year visa).
Entrepreneurs can apply for a 3-month visa to test the waters and get set up, or a 12-month visa to make the move and begin the process of permanent residency.
Like its cousin Lithuania, Estonia has beautiful scenery, sea views, and a high quality of life.
More info: https://startupestonia.ee/visa

Entrepreneur residence permits (Sweden)

Sweden is known in the business world for producing the likes of IKEA, but it’s also a welcoming country for entrepreneurs with companies of all sizes.
While Sweden doesn’t have a flashy website or dedicated startup-lingo page, the Nordic country has a Self-Employment Residency visa, which provides up to 2 years stay - with a path to permanent residency - for self-employed individuals.
The capital requirements are fairly low - you have to prove you have around $25,000 USD to support yourself while on visa - and you can apply from anywhere in the world. The primary potential downside for remote entrepreneurs is that this visa requires you to produce and/or sell the majority of your business’ goods and services in Sweden, which could be a challenge for a distributed workforce.
More info: https://www.migrationsverket.se/English/Private-individuals/Working-in-Sweden/Self-employment.html

Not sure about relocating quite yet?

One of the wins of remote work is that you can physically do your job from anywhere. So if you’ve been dreaming of relocating but not sure about taking the actual plunge, plan an extended working holiday.
Depending on where you’re from, most countries will allow you to stay at least a few weeks (and upwards of 90 days in some cases) with no visa or simply on a tourist visa.
If you’re planning this kind of “working holiday,” here are some places to consider visiting (that have great, accessible wifi) for when the world opens back up:
Cities:

Goa, India
Toronto, Canada
Hoi An, Vietnam
Tel Aviv, Israel
Helsinki, Finland
Tallinn, Estonia
Fukuoka, Japan
Seoul, South Korea
Lisbon, Portugal
Belgrade, Serbia
Cluj, Romania

Smaller cities, towns, and villages:

Taghazout, Morocco
Rhodes, Greek Islands
Koh Phangan, Thailand
Canggu, Bali

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I haven't crunched the numbers thoroughly but this event seems rather parsimonious and almost a tad punitive. Not a good feeling to have completed all the directives and still have only had enough to earn the pretty bland Tier 5 premium and a worthless camo. Seems pretty clear to me the Mikoyan was essentially throwaway. I just barely earned enough Soviet Tokens to earn the *camo* for the Tier 8 tech-tree ship (Tallinn). But not the ship itself.
Comparing with my friends, most of them got exactly what I got, in sum. WG knew what underlying odds for Soviet Tokens were, since they programmed them. So I get the feeling that this is what WG wanted for most folks:
1) Earn a weak Tier 5 premium ship that they probably won't play unless they're a masochist or just don't know any better.
2) +50% XP Camo on the Tier 8 tech tree ship, but not the ship itself. A camo that many players won't ever use, because they have a better alternative (+75%, +100%, +125%, +200% camos).
I'm a veteran of this game, so perhaps in a different situation than some, but at least to me I'm left decidedly underwhelmed. Earlier events felt like they were generally worth my time, but this event, well, it's not as bad as the Puerto Rico event, but I wouldn't be surprised if precisely the same people were involved in its design. Essentially, the rewards weren't really tied to hard work and dedication, but instead, RNG, and in one way it was even worse than PR because to make up the shortfall was tied behind yet more RNG, instead of being a clear set cost.
The directives were pretty easy though, so there's that. But World of Warships is just turning into a smoke-filled casino where you can't even clearly see the cards in front of you -- at least that's my impression.

Pretty self explanatory. When you've decided that, "hey, I want to party myself to rather excess" where do you do so in your country and what is it like?

On the 1st of January 2020 I final tabled a local casino tourney, and made a vow that I was going to focus more on live poker this year, and try to travel to play on the UK circuit when work/life allowed.
Clearly, that plan is in flames with all live poker KO'd for the forseeable future, especially the multi day events I wanted to attend.
With that in mind I wondered if anyone wanted to share the tournaments they're looking forward to when the current global crisis chills the fuck out?
Here's mine: GUKPT Edinburgh - was due to be the next tournament I played in, so that's definitely on the list.
Battle of Malta - Had a few people rave to me about how great this event is, beautiful surroundings, great hospitality, big programme of events with a range of buy-ins. Hot, but not Aussie Millions hot.
Kings of Tallinn: €550 buy in, and the chance to say I'm off to Estonia this weekend to become the King of Tallinn. Estonia looks really nice too and pints are just £1.50 ($1.80) +life EV.
WSOP - Never been, not even slightly interested in the main event glory but would love to take a shot at the $1500 HORSE and the huge field events, try and bink a huge score from a relatively small outlay.
Where are you folks headed?

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Angela was the coolest supervisor I’ve ever had. At the time, we were working at a little advertising startup called Digital Marketing Technologies, or just DMT. She was a graphic designer and I was hired out of College to manage Google ad accounts. But to Brad, none of that mattered.

Brad was the owner and only salesman of our little startup. A balding, late thirties wannabe celebrity, he envisioned himself as the next Gary Vee. So much so that he regarded his LinkedIn self promotional videos as more important than his clients. He was a good salesman, but he had nothing even remotely approaching anything resembling knowledge on how to effectively run a business.

Case in point, almost all of the staff who wasn’t strictly video, were designated as ‘graphic designers’ whether or not they actually were one. That was the bucket I currently fell in.

Brad had tossed me into that position after jerking me around his company as an intern for the better part of a year, and treating me like absolute garbage.
At first, I took it with a smile, figuring that’s just how it was. While I was working under Angela though, she made it abundantly clear just how fucked up Brad actually was.

Being a young white man, with little experience, I didn’t see the rampant sexism, barely subdued racism and ethically dubious business practices that defined Brad. He hid it well for the most part under his fantastical razzle dazzle of technobabble and pompous self importance. He paraded around like a rock star, hosting $10,000 seminars in Toronto that no one came to, and uploading what he considered to be nuggets of marketing genius, most which were barely more than drunken ramblings. He was a sham and Angela saw right through him, and she made sure he didn’t try and fuck over his own employees.

Brad’s startup was already circling the drain. His VP, Craig had quit in a rage about a month ago, followed by his assistant Janice. With the structure of his upper management compromised, he’d made the crucial mistake of bringing in Jake.
Jake was Brad’s biggest fan. A mechanic by trade, who sold juice for a multi level marketing scheme on the side, his ‘job application’ had been an overlong fan letter that Janice had shared with us just before she left.

While Brad didn’t openly call him Craig’s replacement, that was basically what he was.I would have felt bad for him. An inexperienced Yes Man getting put into a role he couldn’t possibly fill. Maybe I could have even related, but Jake had one fundamental flaw.

He was every bit the asshole that Brad was, and something of a creep to boot. He stared at people too long, smiled too wide and acted so condescendingly friendly. He’d ask the stupidest questions in a tone that implied that YOU were the idiot who didn’t know what was going on, not the other way around. Like Brad, he fancied himself a Marketing guru. He even had his own website that was essentially a blank screen with a link to his merch store. Yes, he had a merch store. No, no one ever bought anything off of it. His one redeeming quality was that he was about as dumb as a box of rocks, and it was almost pathetically easy to slip stealth insults into casual conversation with him.

So, to put a lid on it all, DMT was already a rapidly sinking dumpster fire of a company, with more problems than I have time to list. Being the ‘genius’ that he was however, Brad had a fix.
Since the holidays were coming around, and I’m pretty sure it was impossible not to notice that his modest staff all hated him, Brad elected to throw the Christmas party early, and he wanted to pull out all the stops.
He booked everyone individual hotel rooms in Niagara Falls for a Thursday-Friday night of partying. To Brad, that meant enough alcohol to kill most living things and gambling away that years profits.
The idea was not a popular one… But, most of us stuck it out, hoping that maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t suck.

It did.

Angela and I had driven down together, and suffered through the disappointment together. I wouldn’t call that Thursday night much of a Christmas party, as much as a disorganized bender. We all watched Brad knock back drink after drink, getting louder and more obnoxious.
Given that it was a Thursday in November, very little was open late, and the evening barely lasted until around 10 before Brad decided it was time to hit the casinos!
I bowed out at that point. Gambling never interested me, and I had absolutely zero interest in watching Brad get hammered and waste more money that he probably didn’t have. He didn’t take that so well.
“Come on, Greg!” he slurred, just outside the Fallsview Casino. “Okay, I’ll tell you what. I’ll stake you. If you win, it’s yours man!”
“No thanks, it wouldn’t feel right to gamble with your money.” I said.

“Okay well… Okay… What about a years payroll, right?” He looked around at the others with us. I saw Angela’s brow crinkle in disgust.

“Let’s just pool it, and see where we get?!”
No one took him up on that offer, and he waved it off, enthusiastically going to feed another of his many addictions.

According to Angela when I talked to her the next morning, it had gone about as well as expected. Brad hadn’t gone broke, but he had needed Jake to carry him back to his hotel room. Angela herself had left shortly after I did and only got that information from one of the other ‘Graphic Designers’ Leanne.
As soon as we had the chance to leave, Angela and I were in my car and headed back to Hamilton.

“You know, you’d think he would’ve taken the hint that none of us wanted to go, but he did it, and then he wonders why no one had a good time. It’s Niagara Falls at midnight on a Thursday. Of course nothing was open!” Angela said as we drove.
“Well, least we got free food.” I said, it was just about the biggest and only positive aspect of the event.
Angela scoffed.
“Yeah… Funny how he ran out on the bill and made Jake pay.”
I hadn’t noticed that, but I still believed it.
She looked down at her phone, checking a game she was playing on it, before pausing.
“Oh shoot, hey, do you mind if we make a quick stop?”
“Not at all, why what’s up?”
“I figure we’re in wine country, right? I wanted to pick up some ice wine for my Mom, I didn’t really get the chance while we were in town.”
“I don’t really see why not.” I said, “Google it, lemme know if there’s a place nearby.”
She did, and sure enough there was a place a few exits ahead.
“Looks like the only one open today…” She murmured, “Greystone Winerys.”
She scrolled through their website for a bit, as the GPS told me where to go in a soothing British accent.

The exit led me to a narrow backroad. On either side of us, all I could see was empty farmland and sparsely populated trees. No sign of anything resembling a winery.
“How much further?” I asked, and she checked her phone.
“Says about fifteen minutes… I dunno, it’s acting up.”
I scanned the horizon for any indication of a driveway or something. But the road was just a straight unbroken line through empty lifeless land. The only sign of civilization was the phone lines on the side of the road.
“Up ahead!” Angela said, just when I thought I saw something past a patch of trees.
The turn she indicated led us to a worn out, empty parking lot. A skeletal gazebo sat in the middle of it, amongst patches of snow.
The building in front of that gazebo was old and looked almost Victorian. Behind it, I could see what a vineyard that looked strangely empty.
“This is the place.” Angela said, as I parked my car. I couldn’t help but admire that creepy parking lot. I snapped a photo of it, before following her to the building where she was trying the door.
“Locked.” She said, and frowned, “Maybe they aren’t open then.”
She checked her phone again, since there were no listed hours.
“Google probably just lists their summer hours.” I said, “This place has to be abandoned right now.”
“Yeah… Maybe I’ll stop off at a liquor store or something then. They might have some there.”
Angela seemed to shrug it off, and we headed back to the car after our very brief little adventure.

We were barely halfway there when I saw a familiar bright orange Corvette round the corner into the parking lot.
I actually felt disappointment upon seeing it.
The Corvette sped into a parking spot right beside my SUV, and Brad got out wearing the biggest grin on his face.
“Hey! What are you guys doing here!”
Jake got out of the passenger seat, as Brad approached us. Angela looked like she had to fight to keep from rolling her eyes and groaning in disappointment.
“Keeping the party going, huh, Champ?” Brad asked playfully, and punched me on the shoulder a little too hard.
“No… We were just stopping to-”
“Hey, we were gonna do a wine tasting! C’mon! Join us, it’ll be fun!”
That was the worst idea I had ever heard in my life, and I hated Brad even more for saying it.
“I really don’t feel like it.” I said, and Jake helpfully chimed in with;
“A bit of wine won’t kill you y’know, have some fun! It’ll be good for morale!”
He wore the sort of smile I imagine must have physically hurt to maintain. I also felt my eyes drawn to his shirt, which naturally came from his merch store, the one that no one on the planet knew existed except for him.

Shiitake Happens

Real original.

Brad was already pounding on the door of the winery as if the people who weren’t inside owed him money.
“HEY! COME ON! WE’RE HERE FOR A WINE TASTING!” He yelled. Amazingly, no one answered! Who’d have guessed?
“They’re closed.” Angela said, “We already tried.”
“But Google says they’re open!” Jake chirped.
“And no one’s here, so they’re closed.” Angela replied. Jake didn’t take the hint.
“But Google says-” He started to repeat, but he was thankfully cut off by a gruff voice behind us.
“We’re closed.”
A man had come around the side of the building. He looked gruff and wore wading overalls.
“Finally…” Brad murmured under his breath, “We’re here for a wine tasting!”
“Those are in the summer.” The man replied, “We’re closed for the season.”
“But you have wine, right?” Brad asked. The man frowned.
“We do… But we’re closed.”
“Well, obviously not entirely or you wouldn’t be here.” Brad said, and took out his wallet, “Look. We’re here for a wine tasting. For four…”
I started to protest, but Jake had to cut me off, to avenge the stupid sentence he didn’t get to finish earlier.
Angela sighed in exasperation.
“Yes sir, four please!”
Brad took a handful of bills I didn’t think he actually had, and offered them to the man.
“Come on, it’s fine!” He assured the man.
The Man just stared at him. He looked at Brad, then at Jake, then finally at Angela and I. He took the money and jammed it into one of his pockets.
“Come on then… I suppose I can arrange something since you came all this way. Lemme just call Mr. Greystone.”
He marched off towards the back of the building, fumbling with his cell phone and Brad followed him.

“I told you it was open!” Jake said smugly, as if Brad hadn’t just begged and bribed the man to give us a wine tasting.
Angela and I stayed put for a moment.
“Fuck it, let’s just go.” She said. Me, misconstruing that, took a weary step forward to follow. She hesitated for a moment, before going after me. She didn’t bother correcting herself.
The man led us to a long barn out behind the vineyard. Going through the empty grapevines felt a little unsettling, and as we headed out towards the barn, I heard the man and Brad talking.
“So, where abouts are you folks from?” He asked.
“Well, I’m from Texas originally, but I settled down here. Jake, you’re from… What, Oshawa? Hey Greg! What’s that town you live in again? Brantford? Our office is in Vaughan and this guy commutes from Brantford, can you believe that?”
I didn’t answer, even though he got it right. Angela trailed behind us, being ignored by Brad, but I could tell she was furious to be caught up in this.
“He’s supposed to be meeting with a client.” She said, once Jake and Brad were far enough ahead of us, “That’s where he said he was going this morning. Did you smell the booze on him?”
I hadn’t, but it wasn’t hard to guess that Brad was drunk.

“This is why he keeps losing business.” She said. We’d had conversations like this countless times before. I knew Angela had even brought it up with Brad, and he’d laughed it off.
The Man opened the barn door, letting us inside.
“I assume you’d like the tour first.” He said coolly.
“Hell yes we want the tour!” Brad said and immediately stepped inside, followed by the rest of us.
The Man followed us in, and closed the door behind us. As soon as he did, we heard another man speak.
“So, you’re the ones Archie found out front?”The speaker was a younger man in similar wading overalls. He had a full beard and sparkling blue eyes. His handshake was firm.
“I’m Isaac Greystone, I own the place. Archie tells me you were looking for a tour?”
“That and a tasting!” Brad said, and hastily introduced myself and Jake. He didn’t even bother introducing Angela.
“Well then, it’s a pleasure to meet you all. You just came at a really exciting time. We’re not open to the public right now, but I figure since you’re offering to pay for it, I might as well show you around, right?”
“Damn right.” Brad said, “A man after my own heart.”
Isaac tipped a thousand watt smile that almost rivaled Jakes.
“Well, let’s get started… I suppose you know how ice wine is made, right? How we freeze the grapes, and press them to make sure our wine is concentrated. It takes a little longer to ferment, but the final product is so, so worth it.”

He led us deeper into the barn. Massive machinery worked on the frozen grapes around us, and it was almost too loud to hear him speak clearly as he walked Brad and Jake through the process. I barely paid any attention, hoping we could just get this over with as soon as possible and looking for the earliest opportunity to make an excuse to leave.
“We just finished our harvest this year!” Isaac said, “So the wine we’re making now is going to keep us stocked for the next year or so. It’s not going to be ready quite yet, but we’ve still got some samples!”
“Well bring them out then!” Brad said, “Let’s taste these bad boys!”
Isaacs grin never faded, and he led us to a side room.
“I think you’re gonna love this.” He said, “We have a bit of a special fermenting technique, I can’t say too much about it right now. Trade secret and all, but it gives our wine just the right amount of body and personality. It’s why Greystone is one of the top selling ice wines in the world. We even have some exclusive labels, that we make special for some of our particularly discriminating clients…”

Isaac went behind a small bar, and fetched a couple of bottles of the ice wines from a fridge beneath it. He set out four glasses.

“So you do special blends?” Brad asked, and traded an approving look with Jake.“See that, that is branding. That’s what having a brand is all about!”
Jake nodded enthusiastically in approval.
“It’s amazing branding.”
I was pretty sure that had very little to do with branding.
“I’ve got some samples of those right here.” Isaac said, as if he hadn’t heard a word they were saying. He held up a bottle with the Greystone logo, and a stylized wolfs head on the label.
“This we manufacture for one of our best private companies. You ever heard of the Tallinn Corporation?”
“No, I don’t think I have, who are they?” Brad asked.
“Our best customers, that’s who. They’re Estonian, but they love us. Here. Try a glass…”
He filled all four glasses, and Brad immediately snatched one up. I saw Isaac set a bucket on the counter for us to spit the wine into after tasting it. I’d never been to a wine tasting before in my life, but even I knew you weren’t supposed to actually drink it.

Brad drank it. He drank it all in one big embarassing gulp. Isaac looked at him with a bit of surprise, as if he hadn’t quite expected that.
“Oh Jesus, that’s brisk!” Brad said, “Here, lemme have some more of that…”
Jake, for all his flaws, had the decency to drink the wine slowly. Angela didn’t drink at all. He did not however, have the decency to not make weirdly sexual moans as he enjoyed the drink. I hated it when he did that.
“Greg, try that!” Brad said, as Isaac filled up another glass for him. I took a sip. Never in my life had I ever had ice wine before, but it was delicious. Easily one of the sweetest things I’d ever tasted!
I spit it into the bucket.

“What? You don’t like it?” Brad asked.
“No, it’s delicious!” I said, “I just thought…”
“Well, here’s a toast then!” Brad raised his second glass, “Hey, Angela! Come on! Don’t be a spoilsport.”
Angela just glared at him, as if to ask ‘Do you know what the fuck you’re even doing right now?’ She set her glass down.
“No thanks.”
“Alright… Fine, whatever.” Brad said, shrugging it off. He tossed back the glass, and Jake attempted to do the same. I just took another sip and swallowed it. I guessed it would’ve been a shame to let it go to waste.
“That’s got kick…” Brad murmured. I watched as Angela headed towards the door.
“I think I’m just gonna wait by the car.” She said, and I understood that she wanted to get out of there. I did too.
“Greg, have some more!” Brad urged me. Angela was waiting by the door, before sighing and stepping out. I didn’t, and set my glass down.
“I think I’m good, actually. Angela’s got an appointment and we should get going.”
“Oh boo!” Brad said, “You can be a bit late, come on!”
“We’re already late.” Angela said, “Thanks for everything, Brad. Really. See you on Monday.”
She left abruptly and I followed.

“Who the hell does he even think he is?” She growled as she stormed towards the exit to the barn.
“Seriously, blowing off his meetings to go and get drunk? What an idiot!”
I tried to keep up with her, but was starting to feel a little woozy.
“Yeah, he’s a prick.” I murmured. Angela stopped in her tracks and looked back at me.
“Hey, you alright?”
“I think so.” I said. I could see the door to the barn, and the man who’d led us in, Archie, still standing out front of it.
“How strong was that wine?” I asked.

“It’s wine. There’s no way you’re drunk!”
I took another few steps forwards before my legs gave out from under me and I hit the ground. Angela was on top of my immediately.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Greg, Greg, are you alright?”
My vision was going hazy, and the last thing I remember was seeing Archie coming up behind Angela and raising something over his head.

I woke up to someone shaking me.

“Greg! Wake up, Goddamn you!”
I recognized the voice was Angela’s, and slowly as I came to, I could see her standing over me.

“Finally… I was beginning to think you weren’t waking up.”

“I’m awake…” I murmured, “What happened?”

“You passed out and someone hit me.” Angela replied, “We’re in deep shit, Greg… Look!”
My vision was groggy at first, but as I slowly pieced together my surroundings, I began to feel a creeping fear seep into my gut.
We were in a cell, and outside of those bars, was a sight I wish I’d never seen.

The machinery around us looked similar to what I’d seen before, but this was a completely different part of the factory. This looked more like a butcher shop.

I could see bodies, human bodies suspended from the ceiling. Their throats had all been cut, and I watched the blood dripping into one of six swimming pool sized mixing vats full of ice wine beneath them, and I suddenly felt sick. That was what I’d been drinking with Brad and Jake…
Just above the surface of the wine in each vat, a large propeller spun slowly, making sure that horrible concoction of blood and wine was evenly mixed.
I patted my pockets. No sign of my wallet, keys or cell phone. Of course they’d taken those.

“Angela? Greg?”Jake sounded like he was in the next cell over, and I’d never heard him so terrified in my life.

“What the hell happened!” I asked.

“I don’t know! We were drinking the wine, and then Brad was on the floor and… Jesus Christ, did they drug us?”
That was the most logical explanation, wasn’t it?

“Let’s just shut up, and figure a way out of here!” Angela said, “Jake, Brad’s in there with you, right?”

“No! They took him! I don’t know where! Jesus Christ, we need to get out of here! D-do you see the vat?”
Angela didn’t reply, but we’d all seen it, and we all knew that.
She reached up towards her hair, taking out a hairpin. Something that whoever had emptied our pockets had missed.
“I might be able to get this lock…” She murmured, and immediately set to work on it.

“Are you picking it? Come on, come on, come on…” Jake groaned, “Hurryyyyy.”
Angela worked diligently, before pausing suddenly, and putting her tools into her pockets. I heard the voices down the hall too.

“We’ll get them processed today and have this whole thing taken care of. Later on I’ll call our usual guy to get the cars... ”
I recognized the voice as Isaacs, and heard his footsteps getting closer.

“Ah, you’re awake!” He said. It sounded like he’d stopped in front of Jake’s cell.

“What the hell do you want from us?!” I heard Jake say, “You can’t just keep us here! Where’s Brad!?”

“Well, like I said you’ve come at an interesting time…” Isaac replied. His tone was even and calm. “Usually, we buy our secret ingredient from the Tallinn Corporation. They deal in that sort of thing mostly. People go missing in the old Soviet Union all the time and no one cares. So we don’t really hurt anyone and we get a better tasting product! But, we do care a lot about quality and we’d like to keep all our ingredients locally sourced, if you catch my meaning.”

“W-what the hell…?” It sounded like Jake was crying and Isaac chuckled.

“You’ll see soon enough… Shock him, let’s get him processed.”

I heard Jake scream as he was tased, and the sound of the cell door opening.
Archie and another worker carried Jake past our cell. As they passed, Isaac stepped into our view.

“Hey there.” He said smoothly, “I understand if you’re not excited to be in this position… I got the feeling you two didn’t really want to get dragged into this.”

“No shit!” Angela snapped, “Where are you taking him?”

“To become part of the Greystone legacy.” Isaac teased, and looked up towards the bodies hanging above the mixing vats.
“It’s a slow process, but quality takes time… Anyways, I wanted to say, before you get angry, that I am sorry you got dragged into this.”
He smiled, and walked away from us, following the others.

Angela was silent for a bit, listening to his footsteps fade. When she was sure he was gone, she got the hair clip out of her pocket, and worked on the lock with renewed vigor. It didn’t take long until we heard the click of the lock, but Angela didn’t open it. It didn’t take me long to see why.

Archie, his associate and Jake came into view again, this time on a catwalk above the nearest mixing vat.
Jake was still unconscious, which made it easy to bind his ankles and place a hanging hook through the rope.
“W-what…” Jake’s voice was faint and echoed from the distance, but he was starting to come to. He let out a startled yelp as the hook yanked him up just like the other bodies.
“Wait, WAIT, WAITWAITWA-”
He didn’t get to finish his pleasing. Archie pulled a knife from his overalls, and opened his throat. Jake squirmed and choked out his death rattle, blood pouring over his face and dripping into the vat below.
Shiitake happens.

The other worker took a long pole, and used it to push Jake out towards the other bodies, right over the center of the mixing vat.
We watched as they prodded the others, before choosing a few to pull towards them and take down.
As soon as they were gone, she opened the door to our cell.
“We’re leaving.” She said curtly. I didn’t argue. For a moment, I thought about Brad, but Jake had said they’d already taken him. He was probably dead, and I could have cared less!

Neither of us knew which way to go, but we opted for the way that Archie and the other worker hadn’t taken Jake. That way led to a hall that seemed impossibly long, and on either side were massive chilled vats of Ice Wine.
I tried not to think about just how many people had died to fill these… But the thought still came.How many people around the world were unknowingly drinking human blood in their wine? How many people did it knowingly?

Down the hall, I heard a voice, and paused.I ducked into the narrow space between one of the vats, and I saw Angela doing the same across from me.

“50% in under three months, now that is unprecedented growth, but it’s doable! I’ve done it. Not everyone can, but if you’ve got the product, you’ve got the brand, and you’ve got the know how, it’s already done!”
That was Brad’s voice!
I had to peek out from behind my vat, and I saw him and Isaac passing through the hall in front of us, side by side like old friends.
“It’s a bold claim.” Isaac said. I wasn’t sure if he was impressed or not, “But you sound like you can back it up.”

“Dude, if you just let me show you my numbers, gimme a phone, something. I won’t try anything! But I’m telling you, you’re making the right call. Those other guys? Fuck ‘em. They’re disposable, I mean, hell. I was honestly looking for a chance to get rid of Angela anyways. But me, I’m the one you wanna keep. I get it, this whole operation here, it’s about adding value to your brand. What you’re doing gives the wine it's signature flavor, and it’s honestly kinda hardcore! I dig that! But you and I both know, that I can give you more value right here, like this, then I would in a bottle of wine.”
Isaac and his workers were going to slaughter us for wine, and Brad was trying to fucking sell them on his service?
I sincerely hoped someone would show up to drag Brad off to the same fate Jake had met, but I didn’t get that wish.

“Well, if you’re half of what you claim… Maybe you’d be worth it.” Isaac said thoughtfully. He idly played with his beard. “Let’s say I kept you around, huh? I’m gonna need to make sure you don’t try anything. I’ll give you what you need to work. Just work. Nothing else. You let me down, and you’re going in with the next batch.”

“Hey, that’s A-okay with me! I just want the chance!” Brad said, grinning from ear to ear, “Trust me. You and me are gonna do some amazing shit.”
Isaac nodded slowly, and from my vantage point, I could see the rage on Angela’s face, but she stayed still.
“HEY! CELL’S EMPTY!”
Archie’s voice cut through the hall, and both Brad and Isaac looked up suddenly.
“They’re out. Find them.” He said, “They can’t be far!”
Isaac was coming towards us again, with Brad trailing behind him. I heard Archie coming up from the opposite direction, and I realized that sooner or later, one of them was going to see us. I think Angela knew it too.
She moved suddenly, running for her life, and I did the same, but I wasn’t as fast.
She slipped past Brad easily enough, but I didn’t get past Isaac.

He grabbed me, and I felt Archie grabbing me too. Both of them wrestled me to the ground, and the last thing I remember was a terrible jolt of electricity before everything went black.

I woke up in the hall. I don’t know how long later. Archie and another worker had me draped over their shoulders, and dragged me slowly. Ahead of me, I saw Isaac.
“Shock him again.” Isaac said. I hadn’t even given any indicator that I was awake, but Archie didn’t waste any time. I didn’t pass out this time, but I wasn’t in any condition to fight.
“I know you probably think this is barbaric.” Isaac said, still not looking at me, “It’s… well, an old family tradition. One gets desensitized to it. But as heinous as this all must seem, I need you to understand that this really does make it a superior product! The blood sweetens the wine, and the corpses do wonders for the vineyard. Every year, we have a bountiful harvest. It’s because of this that we’re the best, and if your friend Brad delivers on his promise, we might even be the biggest.”
Up ahead, I saw the hanging bodies… But now they were much closer to eye level.
“I wouldn’t take it personally.” Isaac said, and stopped, letting us pass him.
“Make it quick for this one!” He ordered, “Suffering taints the wine.”
With that, I heard him walking away.
We were at one of the vats, and Archie shocked me one last time. I felt his associate starting to tie my legs together. Archie pulled the knife from his overalls.
“It’s never personal, kid.” He said gruffly. I looked at the knife, my heart racing as I waited for what was coming.
Then I heard the worker behind me scream, along with a dull thud. Archie looked up, and I caught a glimpse of Angela behind us. She was holding a shovel, and swung it ruthlessly at Archie’s head. It bounced off his shoulder and he grunted in pain.
I didn’t have much time to react, but by God I made the most of it!

I grabbed him by the wrist, and jerked his arm towards me, then I sank my teeth into the skin. His grip on the knife loosened, and I tore it out of his hands.
Archie kicked out blindly at Angela when she tried to hit him with the shovel again. He uselessly slapped at me to try and keep me away from him, but I had the knife now, and I put it in his throat.
It was very personal.

Archie twitched, eyes looking up at me in surprise, but as the blood trickled out of his throat, his body went limp.
I was panting heavily, and looked over at Angela. The worker she’d hit lay on the ground, unconscious or dead. I didn’t care which.
“Are you alright?” She asked, and I absentmindedly nodded, before backing away from Archie’s body.
“I just killed this guy…”
“Yeah. I guess you did…” Angela replied, “Take the knife, we need to go and…” She swallowed, “We might need it.”
I didn’t want to touch that knife. I didn’t even want to look at Archie. I wanted to scream and cry and lose my shit, but I did what she said. It came out easier than I expected.
Angela started down the hall again, and I followed, still a little shell shocked from committing a murder!
“After I split off from you, I found what I’m pretty sure was Isaacs office.” Angela said, “Here, we needed these.”
I saw her reaching into her pocket for my car keys and wallet.
“Our phones were missing. Probably broken.”
“Shit… We can’t call for help then?”

“Which is why we need to focus on getting the hell out of here.” Angela replied,
We moved silently. For the time being, there was no sign of any other employees, but we didn’t want to risk it. We both knew there was more than Archie and his associate lurking around.

In a few moments, we’d made it back to the lower level of the mixer room.
“I think the door to the main factory is down that way.” Angela said, “We just need to find it, and-”
A gunshot cut her off. She ducked, and looked around for the source. I saw it before she did, and pulled her towards one of the vats. We ducked beneath it to avoid another shot.
“Found you!” Brad cried, “Ah shit… I guess you picked up Greg too, huh?”
He held the gun professionally as he crept towards the vat we cowered behind.

“Well, I’ve got enough ammo to do you both. I hope you know it’s nothing personal! But it’s honestly just me or you, and even with the… well, unusual recipe, this is still a big client! Do you have any idea what this is gonna do for DMT? Isaac gets me, man!”
He was drawing nearer, but even when he had us cornered, Brad was still an idiot. The second he got close to our hiding spot, I was ready. He came into view slowly, and I lunged at him when he did, catching him off guard.

The knife went into his shoulder, and I caught the gun across my face. Angela was on him next, tearing at the knife and trying to rip it out of him. Brad struggled against her, and frantically brought the butt of his gun down on her head, over and over again.
He shoved Angela off of him, and she hit the ground holding the handle of the knife. The blade poked out of Brads shoulder.He grinned through gritted teeth as we took aim at her, but he wasn’t watching me.

I was on my feet again and I grabbed his arm, forcing it upwards. He fired off a stray bullet, but it went harmlessly into the ceiling.
Brad may have had a gun, but I was bigger than him. Angela recovered and went with the age old trick of going straight for the groin. I went for the stomach. Brads grip on his gun loosened. I watched as Angela tried to rip it from his hand. But Brad saw that coming. With a jerk of his arm, he sent the gun flying across the factory floor. I didn’t see where it landed. His elbow caught me in the face, and I barely had time to see him drive his fist into Angela’s jaw. He grabbed her by the throat, and got ready to punch again.

I grabbed him from behind and tried to drag him off of her. Brad flailed helplessly, and I almost got him there, before his head slammed into my face. The first time just stunned me. The third time, I had to let go. Brad glared hatefully at us once he was free.

“I shouldn’t be surprised you two are the ones I have to deal with right now. You’ve always been a poison to MY company, Angela. Since I hired you you’ve been trying to cripple MY success!” His eyes shifted to me.

“And you? You’re just dead weight! I am DONE with you people! I am DONE with your disrespect!”
He probably had more to say, but Angela didn’t give him the chance. She’d noticed something that Brad hadn’t.
He was standing right in front of a vat.

As he opened his mouth to speak again, she lunged for him, pushing him back towards it. I caught on quickly and went to help her. Between the two of us, we were able to press him right up against the vat.

Angela and I traded a brief look, before I ducked down, grabbing Brad by the legs. She pushed him by the shoulders. Brad struggled, but he went into that vat of blood and wine. The mixers arm was coming around again. I know Brad saw it in the moment before it struck him over the head. I don’t know if it killed him, but the force of it pulled him into the vat entirely. Given how little of a struggle there was, I’d have guessed it just knocked him unconscious. The arm dragged him around the vat slowly, his head submerged in that disgusting mixture of blood and wine he’d been willing to murder us over.

We didn’t stick around to see if he was ever going to wake up, and as far as I’m concerned, he drowned in that vat.
I wish I'd said 'Cheers'.

The next room was more familiar territory. This was part of what Isaac had shown us, and we sprinted for the door, and through the empty vineyard. It was starting to get dark. Halfway through it, I let myself look back. I could see people coming out of that long barn, and I didn’t wait for them to start running after me.The gazebo was up ahead, along with my car and Brad’s ugly orange coupe. I didn’t waste any time getting inside my car, and as soon as Angela and I had our doors closed, we were speeding off down our driveway, as fast as we could go.

We drove until the next town over, and made it to the police station looking like hell. I’m pretty sure my statement came out as a rambling incoherent mess, but I didn’t care. I told them just about everything… except the part where I murdered Archie and helped drown Brad.

If the Police believed my statement… I never found out. I heard talk of an investigation, but from what I understood, they found nothing. Not even Brad’s ugly orange coupe.

DMT dissolved quickly without him. He and Jake were just considered to have disappeared. Brads so called ‘fans’ barely seemed to notice his absence.Our story never got out.

I still talk with Angela on occasion, but we don’t talk about Niagara. The unspoken agreement is that we did what we had to do, to survive. We both know that, and we don’t need to remember.

I almost wish we could talk about it though… I wish I could talk to her about the nightmares I’ve had of drowning in a vat of freezing cold wine. I wish I could talk to her about the anxiety I have whenever I’m alone. I wish I could tell her that I received a bottle of ice wine from Greystones Winery in the mail the other day.

Because I don’t know who else to tell.

I wish I knew if Isaac is congratulating me on my escape, mocking me for my inability to stop him… or warning me...

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For many countries' citizens, including almost all of the west, a visa is required to enter Russia. However, there is one notable exception. Here are the basic rules and info:

You can only stay in Russia for 72 hours. The clock starts once you cross Russian border control after getting off the ferry in the morning.
You must book a round-trip ferry with St. Peter Line. They have everything arranged so you follow all the rules. You must enter AND leave Russia via this ferry. You may not enter or leave by plane, bus, train, car, horse, etc.
You must book a tour. Now, this is a bit of a gray area. St Peter Line automatically books you a $25 "tour" that is literally a shuttle bus between the ferry terminal and St Isaac's Cathedral (plus a few other places along the way but the cathedral is the most central). You can ride it as many times as you want. If you want to purchase a different guided tour then I don't believe you need to purchase the shuttle bus "tour". Technically you are supposed to stay on the guided tour the entire time but this is a bit of a loophole that St Peter Line takes advantage of (don't worry you won't get in trouble with any Russian authorities).
You may not leave St Petersburg and go anywhere else in Russia. This is another gray area (e.g. I'm not sure if Peterhof is okay but your time will be limited enough as it is so just stay in the center) but I would not abuse this one. You're doing that at your own risk.
You also may book a cruise (e.g. it stops at each port for a limited time) and enjoy 72 hours visa-free with St Peter Line or another company (some companies this doesn't apply to so be careful). If you do this you MUST return to the boat each night. You cannot book accomodation.
If you book the ferry then you can stay in a hostel, hotel, or probably an AirBnb or with a friend (another gray area, you're supposed to have a booking confirmation but we were not asked to present it at any time). So hostel or hotel is safer. You may stay 2 nights maximum.
The boats do hold cars but you need a visa to travel with a car.

Other general information:

There are two boats: Princess Maria and Princess Anastasia. Maria only goes between Helsinki and St Petersburg and Anastasia travels different combinations of routes between Stockholm, Helsinki, St Petersburg and Tallinn.
From Tallinn or Helsinki your journey is about 14 hours and will most likely be overnight, arriving around 8 AM. From Stockholm it's more like 38 hours and still leaves in the evening and arrives around 8 AM just with another day in between.
The boats are essentially cruise ships (they use them for the cruises as well) with restaurants, live entertainment and a casino (though rumors are it's rigged so be careful). The food is decent but the service is generally unfriendly. The entertainment quality varies. Which brings me to my next point.
How much does this all cost? It's actually quite affordable. It's best to go in a group of 2, honestly. The cheapest cabins sleep 2 and have private bathrooms. For round trip ferry (and 2 nights accomodation on board) was 188 euro for 2 people, so less than 100 each. That includes the mandatory $25 "tour". But you get a bit of the Ryanair treatment. Nothing is included; if you want to watch a movie, swim in the pool or even use the wifi you will have to pay. The free wifi is very good in the Helsinki terminal though (but not in St Petersburg.)
Don't drink the boat tap water! Not even for teeth brushing. My friend got sick and we aren't sure it was from that but it was probable. In general don't drink the tap water in Russia either.
You aren't allowed to bring food or alcohol on board. I wasn't aware and had food in my bag but the bags go through a scanner and no one said anything. So do what you want.

Personally I'd recommend Maria from Helsinki. That's what I did and the route for Anastasia is a bit odd. (Sidenote: if you're in Tallinn, take the super nice ferry to Helsinki!) Remember you have to leave within 72 hours and the ferries don't run every day (most days though). So for example here was my route.
Depart Helsinki September 23rd 18:00, arrive St Petersburg September 24th 8:30.
So I had until roughly September 27th at 8:30 to leave. But you'll have to leave the night before.
So I booked the 24th and 25th in a hostel, and the return ferry was the 26th and left St Petersburg at 17:00. But if there happens to be no return ferry on that date, you'll need to leave a day earlier or change your departure date.
The process:
It's honestly a lot simpler than I originally thought even though I'm going into a bit of detail here. Basically:

Book your round trip ferry and be sure the dates are within 72 hours like I mentioned above. If you really wanna do Anastasia it might be worth contacting St Peter Line to confirm the schedule and how long it stops at each port. You will have the option during booking to add lots of extras like meals and such. I recommend passing on all of these. For the cheapest option for 2 select the B2 cabin and the mandatory shuttle bus "tour".
Book accomodation for the 2 nights in between.
Print your booking confirmation for both the boat and your accomodation. Don't forget your passport either.
You may check in for the ferry several hours early if you want and up until about an hour before (I think 30 min in Helsinki but don't push it, get there earlier). You need your passport and your boat booking confirmation. You will receive a boarding card, arrival card and departure card. The boarding card is also your room key and has your room number on it.
You can get on the boat now if you wish or wait until later depending on how much time you have. You'll go through Schengen exit border control and security.
Enjoy the boat! I recommend getting down to the exit point a bit early the next morning to beat the queue at Russian border control. It won't matter as much going back into Schengen.
Give the Russian border agent your passport and arrival card. They will keep the arrival card and fill out a migration card for you. Don't lose it. You get to see what your name looks like in Russian.
Look for small unmarked vans outside (I'm serious). These are the "tour" shuttles. Show them your departure card but hold onto it. They'll take you to the city center. You already paid for this so might as well take advantage of it. Don't get ripped off by a taxi.
Enjoy St. Petersburg! They may ask at your accomodation for your visa but explain your situation and show them the papers and you'll be fine.
Don't miss your shuttle and especially don't miss the ferry back. You'll receive the shuttle schedule at check-in the first time. Don't worry, there will be a convoy of the vans each time so there is room. I don't recommend taking the last one.
Remember to check in again at the terminal before going to passport control! You'll receive a second boarding card. When passing through Russian border control again give them your passport, the boarding card, departure card and the stamped card you got the first time. They'll keep the latter two papers.
Enjoy the ferry back and the fact that you made it to Russia visa-free!

Useful info for Russia:

You won't have anywhere near enough time to really explore St Petersburg but you'll get a nice taste. Do NOT miss the Hermitage/Winter Palace complex. It is incredible and you could spend 72 hours there alone. Cathedral of Spilled Blood is awesome too. Do a walking tour. Eat at Marketplace and Teremok. Try Georgian food too if you can. Soul Kitchen is supposed to be a fantastic hostel. I stayed at Cubahostel which was decent. I'm not going too in depth in this area, do more research on your own :)
It helps to learn the Cyrillic alphabet because words are pronounced as they are spelled and many sound like English words. This was definitely rewarding and quite useful.

Also you may read that you need a letter of invitation or a paid hotel voucher. You don't. Only for a visa. Maybe TECHNICALLY you do but everyone I asked including St Peter line and my hostel said just bring a booking confirmation. We were not asked to present this but it's definitely worth bringing.
Anything else I missed feel free to ask in the comments. I did ramble a bit here because I'm on a flight with nowhere to go but honestly the process is much simpler than I originally thought. Do it. St Petersburg is a beautiful city.

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Period: 502.23 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	579	3035
Rate (per day)	1.15	6.11
Unique Redditors	248	545
Combined Score	7884	8163

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1649 points, 100 submissions: TrapTarzan
1. ...but i don’t wanna get no blood on muh grand mah flo... (79 points, 15 comments)
2. "...it got so serious so fast..." RIP LiL Peep from the GHOSTEMANE family. (74 points, 2 comments)
3. Death is inevitable (60 points, 9 comments)
4. YOOOOOOOO! (57 points, 6 comments)
5. COASTMANE (55 points, 2 comments)
6. Legendary (49 points, 6 comments)
7. Better picture of the new head tattoo (46 points, 34 comments)
8. Oof (45 points, 2 comments)
9. Ghoste wants to make it clear he’s not talking about dreadlocks lol. (43 points, 10 comments)
10. C A N N I B A L (36 points, 11 comments)
268 points, 8 submissions: BicklyT00bs
1. "Probably got blood on his grandma's flo" (72 points, 10 comments)
2. Ghostewomane doodle. (49 points, 12 comments)
3. Dahlia had me in a drawing mood. (38 points, 15 comments)
4. Start saving your money, new merch drop soon. (25 points, 15 comments)
5. More on the Pouya colab (23 points, 9 comments)
6. WAVY JONE$ x GHOSTEMANE - S.C.U.M (22 points, 3 comments)
7. Get Ready. (21 points, 3 comments)
8. Coldsiemens (18 points, 5 comments)
183 points, 21 submissions: 2Teemos1Cup
1. Pouya x Ghostemane - 1000 Rounds [Music Video] (25 points, 1 comment)
2. Kali Yuga listed as Best Track of The Week by TheNeedleDrop (22 points, 3 comments)
3. Pouya "1000 Rounds" Feat. Ghostemane Official Lyrics & Meaning | Verified (15 points, 1 comment)
4. Ghostemane's black metal side project (13 points, 6 comments)
5. Looks like it's a song after all (12 points, 1 comment)
6. [FRESH] Smokepurpp x Ghostemane - Bitch My Hood Love Me (12 points, 2 comments)
7. Don Krez ft. smokepurpp & Ghostemane - 2013 Freestyle (10 points, 2 comments)
8. HAM Radio Podcast - Ghostemane & Nedarb & Wavy Jone$ + Xavier Wulf & IDONTKNOWJEFFREY (10 points, 0 comments)
9. New Wavy Jone$ album coming this week (8 points, 3 comments)
10. Potential GHOSTEMANE x Pouya in the future. Thoughts? (7 points, 2 comments)
183 points, 14 submissions: drfish93
1. Gucci Ghoste (33 points, 9 comments)
2. My boy copped these at the show last night. 1 of 1 BREAKFUCKKILL jeans made by ghoste himself. 🔥🔥very rare🔥🔥 (29 points, 15 comments)
3. ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ ☿ (18 points, 6 comments)
4. YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE THIS TOUR merch (17 points, 10 comments)
5. Ghoste pits > $B pits (16 points, 7 comments)
6. IM GONNA BUST (15 points, 5 comments)
7. Alright all this talk about merch, who wants it. I’ll part with the shirt, for VERY close to retail. (patch nfs) (14 points, 10 comments)
8. ☿ ☿ ☿ (14 points, 1 comment)
9. Need gone. Who wants it ☿ ☿ ☿ (8 points, 7 comments)
10. ☿ ☿ ☿ ANYONE WHO WAS AT THE FRESNO SHOW TONIGHT... ☿ ☿ ☿ (8 points, 4 comments)
174 points, 10 submissions: -Kern-
1. Ghoste and his girl appeared in a tattoo mag in February (41 points, 9 comments)
2. RARE AF ILL BIZ (28 points, 4 comments)
3. Horus the Astroneer before he was Horus and Ghostemane before he sold his soul (24 points, 13 comments)
4. This is the band Ghoste played with before Ghostemane (he's drumming) (24 points, 3 comments)
5. Been waiting for this forever. So hyped (15 points, 2 comments)
6. Some really classic Ghoste. Old style but he really fucking goes in. Pouya type rap style (14 points, 2 comments)
7. I prefer Ghostemane as a metal/experimental artist over a rapper (12 points, 26 comments)
8. lol we missed this lil xan colletti collab as wellllllllll (9 points, 3 comments)
9. [FRESH] Cycles - Horus The Astroneer (feat GHOSTEMANE, Babyl00t...) (4 points, 3 comments)
10. We all completely missed this but Ghoste did a beautiful song recently with babyl00t. He didnt repost it. Please everyone go follow her she is definetly the most underrated artist on soundcloud (3 points, 2 comments)
169 points, 8 submissions: JescoWhiteLightning
1. Ghostemane in Hawaii is a mood (58 points, 2 comments)
2. No Jumper - The Ghostemane Interview (38 points, 4 comments)
3. Fast Food Music - Ghostemane Interview (28 points, 8 comments)
4. WAVY JONE$ is being held up by US Border Control and GBC’s Horsehead will be replacing him for the remainder of the current US Tour (13 points, 5 comments)
5. Where will you be on the tour? (12 points, 20 comments)
6. Ghostemane & Pouya discussing 1000 Rounds at Rap Genius (10 points, 3 comments)
7. YouWontSurviveThisTour [Tickets] Ghostemane, CHXPO & Wavy Jone$ (9 points, 5 comments)
8. Ghostemane - Euronymous (Reaction Video) (1 point, 1 comment)
159 points, 11 submissions: fuck-the-population
1. [FRESH] Ghostemane - D(r)own (27 points, 11 comments)
2. [FRESH] Ghostemane - Nails (27 points, 6 comments)
3. Ghoste previews new track at his show in Michigan (20 points, 4 comments)
4. Ghoste got a tattoo across his fucking forehead (19 points, 3 comments)
5. Hexada hype thread (15 points, 11 comments)
6. DÆMON III - July 5 (14 points, 6 comments)
7. [FRESH] Ghostemane & Wavy Jone$ - S.C.U.M. (14 points, 3 comments)
8. [LEAK?] Smokepurpp x Ghostemane - Bitch My Hood Love Me (Prod. Don Krez) (10 points, 0 comments)
9. Ghostemane IG Live 8/3/17 - Previews a few new songs and talks about upcoming US tour (7 points, 1 comment)
10. Ghostemane & Getter - Bury Me just leaked (3 points, 1 comment)
135 points, 12 submissions: gswitzzz
1. GHOSTEMANE X PHARAOH - New track [09.04.18] concert version (29 points, 8 comments)
2. Everyone take a break from life and be hypnotized by the Theta Wave <3 (20 points, 8 comments)
3. WAVY JONE$ - ANTHRAX (PROD. KUDZU) (20 points, 2 comments)
4. Fuck bootleggers ☿☿ (18 points, 19 comments)
5. GHOSTEMANE - Slumbag (Turn Em 2 a Speed Bump) [Music Video] (13 points, 1 comment)
6. What are some of your favorite verses/bars/lines/lyrics from Ghoste? (11 points, 22 comments)
7. DREAD? (10 points, 4 comments)
8. Does GHOSTEMANE fuck with Trash? (4 points, 9 comments)
9. Anybody get their Merch from hyv or a track#? (3 points, 5 comments)
10. Nedarb's Greatest Hits by nedarb [nice playlist] (3 points, 3 comments)
128 points, 6 submissions: smokeinroses
1. tucson was lit (43 points, 14 comments)
2. just a throwback! (36 points, 7 comments)
3. one more week until round 3 of meeting the man himself (33 points, 9 comments)
4. i know tour is almost over but... (10 points, 6 comments)
5. need a ride to Tucson show 2/15 (3 points, 3 comments)
6. updated setlist (3 points, 2 comments)
122 points, 6 submissions: Chris_16x
1. awwww shit (50 points, 4 comments)
2. We reached 2k! When did yall join? (18 points, 17 comments)
3. Last night Ghoste in Hamburg, happy he came for round two after his first show in october. He shouted out all the og hamburg fans aswell haha love u ghoste (17 points, 3 comments)
4. Just spent tha check 😤💵💳 (15 points, 39 comments)
5. German fans (12 points, 11 comments)
6. I hope i meet ghoste in Hamburg in October, if i do i will be happy forever. (10 points, 0 comments)
118 points, 2 submissions: Fr_Felix
1. Ghoste roast (104 points, 5 comments)
2. BLACKMAGE Panties Coming Soon (14 points, 1 comment)
112 points, 8 submissions: BeerxBitches
1. Great comment to 'squezze' I found on Genius ☿ (34 points, 4 comments)
2. I found this video on Twitter with a girl seemingly being dragged on a leash by GHOSTE from his concert earlier this month. Yo, our boy is a savage! (20 points, 7 comments)
3. I wanted to spice things up with a girl I'm seeing (18 points, 13 comments)
4. A little video compilation of our Ghostemane performing in Texas! Cheers! (12 points, 3 comments)
5. Roughly 3 months ago Ghostemane had 25k Facebook likes. Today or tomorrow he will hit 42k ☿ (11 points, 8 comments)
6. I was playing Uncharted... and did I just discover a black mage's tomb? (7 points, 6 comments)
7. Recently discovered GHOSTEMANE and I wish to support him - any way to? (7 points, 6 comments)
8. Didn't anyone catch his live story on Instagram today? He mentioned some of his favorite bands but couldn't write them down in time! (3 points, 3 comments)
102 points, 5 submissions: MKGOD_
1. Remember (45 points, 15 comments)
2. UNMASKED: GHOSTEMANE (30 points, 2 comments)
3. In the case someone didn't know what are they selling on the fuck the world tour (13 points, 2 comments)
4. Sorry for recording like this but Tallinn show was lit. (8 points, 2 comments)
5. FUCK THE WORLD TOUR (6 points, 1 comment)
95 points, 10 submissions: daenasaur
1. John Dee opening sample (17 points, 6 comments)
2. Ghostemane x Ramirez preview from snap (14 points, 2 comments)
3. 2000 Rounds - Ghostemane snippet (11 points, 2 comments)
4. Ghostemane x Getter - "Bury Me" art (9 points, 2 comments)
5. Ghostemane x Wifisfuneral being teased "soon" (9 points, 1 comment)
6. Ghostemane has 2 albums in the works (8 points, 2 comments)
7. New song on August 9th (8 points, 0 comments)
8. Now is the new July 5th: DÆMON III (7 points, 7 comments)
9. Shout out to who ever is shipping Ghoste's merch (7 points, 5 comments)
10. Ghostemane x Getter Hype (5 points, 2 comments)
93 points, 7 submissions: SirChedore
1. For those who didnt know :) (19 points, 2 comments)
2. Rough sketch of a possible tattoo, any feedbacks? Thanks ! (18 points, 8 comments)
3. Amazing flow from 2015’ Ghoste (13 points, 0 comments)
4. Thanks for everything you make Eric! Keep up grinding the shows and constant fire tracks 🔥🔥🔥 (13 points, 1 comment)
5. Attempted Selfie when getting tossed out the pit (12 points, 0 comments)
6. Cool still shot from a video from the show in Montreal (11 points, 0 comments)
7. Any info on HEXADA (7 points, 7 comments)
83 points, 9 submissions: skamss
1. HEXADA September 5th (15 points, 4 comments)
2. No Jumper interview in the works now (13 points, 4 comments)
3. Ghoste not fucking with XXL (10 points, 1 comment)
4. New merch this week (10 points, 3 comments)
5. Snapchat group chat (10 points, 4 comments)
6. Let this be the gospel (8 points, 0 comments)
7. Turn notifications on, merch possibly today (7 points, 18 comments)
8. Ghostemane x Clams Casino June 8 (6 points, 1 comment)
9. Merch tomorrow? (4 points, 1 comment)
73 points, 4 submissions: SoTheFliesDontCome
1. Travis Barker in a Ghostemane Tee (42 points, 5 comments)
2. Daemon IV Dropping Next Year (14 points, 1 comment)
3. Ghostemane x CHXPO x Nedarb x Wavy Jones NA Tour Dates (13 points, 11 comments)
4. Travis Barker Wishing Ghoste a Happy Birthday (4 points, 1 comment)
69 points, 3 submissions: vn45638
1. Ghostemane x Clams Casino - Kali Yuga video (31 points, 4 comments)
2. Fantano Hexada Quickie Review (21 points, 3 comments)
3. 1O Questions with GHOSTEMANE & Ivory Suicide - Inked (From Late March) (17 points, 12 comments)
67 points, 3 submissions: camgeeee
1. I was in the latest video!!!!!! Shout out to Quietcam!!! I had to much fun at this concert!!! (32 points, 2 comments)
2. Saw ghostemane in San Diego on Friday. Best. Show. Ever. (30 points, 7 comments)
3. ''VENOM'' live in San Diego. Sorry for the unstable video. I was really hyped lol. (5 points, 0 comments)
66 points, 6 submissions: DnB_Wolf
1. Ghoste's new shit (24 points, 8 comments)
2. Ghoste producing (15 points, 1 comment)
3. Ghostemane x Getter @47:00 (8 points, 2 comments)
4. What kind of events are these? Some kind of underground strip club? (8 points, 3 comments)
5. Ghoste's getting trolled 😂 (6 points, 0 comments)
6. What kind of 'party' or event is/was this? (5 points, 2 comments)
64 points, 1 submission: days-b4-rodeo
1. Dahlia I officially out (64 points, 34 comments)
63 points, 8 submissions: ItzFrazzle
1. flashback (18 points, 6 comments)
2. Anyone know the font name or similar ones? (11 points, 8 comments)
3. GHOSTEMANE - NAILS (Unofficial Music Video) (10 points, 0 comments)
4. GHOSTEMANE - CALIGULA (LYRICS) (7 points, 0 comments)
5. GHOSTEMANE - KRONOL (LYRICS) (6 points, 1 comment)
6. People deffo sleeping on this (6 points, 2 comments)
7. GHOSTEMANE X LIL PEEP - NIAGARA (LYRICS) (3 points, 1 comment)
8. Crucible Lyrics (2 points, 0 comments)
60 points, 1 submission: HotlineHollow
1. 20 years in the future? (60 points, 2 comments)
60 points, 1 submission: Thunderii
1. Happy birthday Ghoste 🖤 (60 points, 7 comments)
59 points, 4 submissions: EternalGrey97
1. Ghostman Story (25 points, 9 comments)
2. Even worse, I regret being born to do this (23 points, 3 comments)
3. I have the worst meme (9 points, 4 comments)
4. Is there an ghostemane discord (2 points, 12 comments)

Top Commenters

TrapTarzan (774 points, 273 comments)
DongMeister2210 (486 points, 105 comments)
-Kern- (420 points, 130 comments)
BeerxBitches (275 points, 81 comments)
TheBodyTricksTheMind (263 points, 77 comments)
Chris_16x (230 points, 102 comments)
BicklyT00bs (185 points, 73 comments)
2Teemos1Cup (173 points, 60 comments)
drfish93 (173 points, 56 comments)
gswitzzz (167 points, 61 comments)
skamss (157 points, 39 comments)
GhosteWomane (149 points, 66 comments)
Alexx_Diamondd (81 points, 16 comments)
EternalGrey97 (77 points, 25 comments)
purple-winter (73 points, 19 comments)
elodieartour (72 points, 52 comments)
SpecialPotion (72 points, 21 comments)
edicys21 (66 points, 12 comments)
coastierapper (63 points, 23 comments)
YxngScarecrow (58 points, 6 comments)
SmokeSignalMeUrNudes (55 points, 23 comments)
smokeinroses (53 points, 22 comments)
JescoWhiteLightning (52 points, 22 comments)
SFZGOTHBOI (52 points, 12 comments)
ItzFrazzle (50 points, 31 comments)

Top Submissions

Ghoste roast by Fr_Felix (104 points, 5 comments)
...but i don’t wanna get no blood on muh grand mah flo... by TrapTarzan (79 points, 15 comments)
"...it got so serious so fast..." RIP LiL Peep from the GHOSTEMANE family. by TrapTarzan (74 points, 2 comments)
"Probably got blood on his grandma's flo" by BicklyT00bs (72 points, 10 comments)
Dahlia I officially out by days-b4-rodeo (64 points, 34 comments)
Death is inevitable by TrapTarzan (60 points, 9 comments)
Happy birthday Ghoste 🖤 by Thunderii (60 points, 7 comments)
20 years in the future? by HotlineHollow (60 points, 2 comments)
drew the man himself by Waleris (58 points, 7 comments)
Ghostemane in Hawaii is a mood by JescoWhiteLightning (58 points, 2 comments)

Top Comments

34 points: YxngScarecrow's comment in Better picture of the new head tattoo
25 points: edicys21's comment in Did Ghoste and Ivory break up?
24 points: Alarkinspace's comment in Ghoste got a tattoo across his fucking forehead
21 points: skamss's comment in Horus the Astroneer before he was Horus and Ghostemane before he sold his soul
20 points: Alexx_Diamondd's comment in Dahlia I officially out
20 points: TrapTarzan's comment in Better picture of the new head tattoo
20 points: TrapTarzan's comment in I wanted to spice things up with a girl I'm seeing
19 points: Dipskro's comment in Dahlia I officially out
19 points: DongMeister2210's comment in All merch orders have shipped. Ghoste is asking to be tagged in pictures if you copped any.
19 points: SFZGOTHBOI's comment in Did Ghoste and Ivory break up?

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