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About Whamoo Casino [Full Review]

Whamoo is a brand new, fun-loving online casino that has recently opened its premises for gamblers from many countries around the world. It does however promise to be more than just an online casino, as Whamoo describes itself as a lifestyle and feeling.
The rush you feel when the reels spin. The sound you make when that spin turns into a huge win. That’s Whamoo. Yet Whamoo is so much more than that. This online casino promises all you would expect from a reputable online casino – but then improved further. A massive game library? Check. Live casino? Check. Full mobile compatibility? Check. An entire VIP bonus programme for loyal customers? Check. Whamoo is a casino which comes with the entire package which players have come to expect of a casino provider.
On paper Whamoo sounds like a great online casino. But being a newcomer on the scene, there are of course always some open questions. How reliable is Whamoo? What can you expect from this brand new casino when it comes to the available games? How cooperative is their online help desk? What kind of welcome bonuses are there for new players who wish to open an online account?
In our extensive Whamoo review, we will try to answer all of the above questions and guide you through this brand new casino. So do read on and let’s explore this exciting new addition to the world of online gambling!
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A fully licenced online casino

Whamoo is a fully licenced online casino and a safe place for gamblers to put down their wagers. The website of whamoo.com is operated by DialMedia Ltd, a company registered by the Malta Business Registry with number C86642, on the registered address of Depiro Point, Block A2, Triq Mons G. Depiro, Sliema, Malta.
As gambling operator, DialMedia Ltd. fully licensed and regulated by the Malta Gaming Authority (MGA) under licence number MGA/B2C/542/2018 issued on 10/04/2019.
What does this say about the reliability of Whamoo?
The MGA licence is one of the better ones you can find in the online casino world as Malta is the major European nation when it comes to online gambling. It is home not only to most of the world’s top online casinos, but also to many software providers and other businesses providing auxiliary services in the gambling industry.
A Malta Gaming Authority licence is not handed out with ease, as a company needs to fulfil many criteria before being granted one. The national gambling authorities of this Mediterranean island and EU member state check for example if all games which are made available are indeed fair and honest. They also check whether a company has enough cash reserves to pay out lucky winners of casino games and hold regular audits to ensure that there are no irregularities.
If an online casino has a MGA licence, it means that all the important criteria when it comes to safety, honesty and reliability are fulfilled and that it is a safe place to gamble. For us, the online casino licence is always a first thing we check before we even would consider playing somewhere. With this crucial criteria being fulfilled, we can thus move forward in our Whamoo review and look at all the other things this casino has to offer. And to be honest, the whole Whamoo package looks quite promising! Three of the main selling points of the Whamoo online casino are:
Whamoo clearly sounds like a promising casino when looking at the selling points, but do these points hold up when we test out the casino in real? Let’s continue our review of Whamoo with one of the most important aspects of every online casino: its game library. Which casino games can we find back in the Whamoo game collection? How honest and fair are these games? These are all legit questions which must be looked into before you can decide whether or not an online casino is suitable or not.
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Games from top software developers

When checking the list of Whamoo’s software providers you can only feel relieved as this brand new online casino only has games from the world’s top casino games developers. Especially for a newly opened online casino it is important to show to the public that you are talking serious – and you can only do that by adding the most popular games from the top software providers to your game library.
It’s not only about fun. Sure, these top software developers are known for making some of the most fantastic video slots, stellar table games. They have the most exhilarating and professional live casino tables to which you can connect in just a few clicks. But it’s more than just playing fun, graphics and game design.
By only having games from the top software companies, you are giving your players a clear message that you are only satisfied with the best quality games. Perhaps the most important aspect is game reliability, honesty and fairness. All games from the top software companies are fully tested and accredited by regulatory bodies. These gaming authorities check whether games indeed turn out completely random results and give gamblers a honest shot at winning. This is perhaps even more important than just a fantastically designed game, as in the end what matters most is reliability and honesty inside a casino.

RNG

The games which can be played at Whamoo Casino all have a piece of code called a Random Number Generator (RNG). With a random number generator, the outcome of every game is completely random and independent from previous results. It means that every card being dealt on the table, all dice which are thrown during a game, and every ball spinning around in the roulette wheel is never predetermined. Let’s put it this way: if you throw a single dice with the numbers 1 to 6 on it, you have indeed an exact 1 out of 6 chance that it will land on your predicted number.
A random number generator is absolutely crucial when it comes to delivering fair game results and giving gamblers a honest chance at winning. By having games from the top software providers, Whamoo makes sure that you can trust the fairness of every casino game you play. The good thing is that not only are the game results subject to occasional audits by regulatory authorities, but that these software providers also pro-actively test their own games to ensure they fulfil the highest industry standards. They hire independent testing agencies such as eCOGRA to check their games, both in virtual simulations and real-time results.
Let’s take a look at the software providers whose games have already been added to the Whamoo game library. As these are some of the best known software developers in the world, chances are that you have heard about some of these names before!
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NETENT GAMES

Also known by its full name of Net Entertainment, NetEnt is one of the largest casino game developers in the world. NetEnt is a Swedish company which was founded in 1996, which makes it one of the oldest companies in the relatively young world of online casino gaming. It is so big, that the company is even listed on the local NASDAQ stock exchange in Stockholm, Sweden!
NetEnt is best known for its vast video slot portfolio, of which many games are also playable at Whamoo. Having NetEnt games in your casino game library is almost a must for every online casino, as besides Whamoo some 300 or so more online casinos have NetEnt games available, which tells you something about the popularity of this company. Just like Whamoo itself, NetEnt has a full gambling licence in the EU member state of Malta, which means that all games are subject to regulatory oversight and can be trusted for their fairness. NetEnt also works closely together with independent testing labs to ensure that their games meet the highest standards.
Some popular NetEnt games which you can play at Whamoo are Jack and the Beanstalk, BerryBurst, Twin Spin, The Vikings, Wings of Riches, Aloha!, Fruit Shop, Jacks or Better, Gonzo’s Quest, Dazzle Me, Wild Bazaar and of course the eternal favourite of Starburst.

PRAGMATIC PLAY GAMES

Pragmatic Play is another major company in the online gaming world. The casino games of Pragmatic Play are always popular with the players, so it is no surprise that Whamoo has chosen to add quite a few Pragmatic Play games to its online collection. Pragmatic Play focuses mostly on online video slots, although they also make some exciting live casino games which are hosted in their own studios.
Being only founded in 2015, Pragmatic Play is a relative newcomer within the game developing industry. Yet in those few years time, the company already managed to reach to top heights with Pragmatic Play being considered to rank among the top game providers. Quality and safety are of immense importance for Pragmatic Play. Therefore, all games are documented and tested by independent auditors and testing labs such as QUINEL, BMM and Gaming Labs.
Popular Pragmatic Play games which can be played at Whamoo are John Hunter and the Aztec Treasure, Great Rhino Megaways, Leprechaun Song, Lucky Dragons, Mustang Gold, The Champions, Vegas Nights, Aztec Gems, Buffalo King, Starz Megaways, Triple Jokers, Magic Crystals, Sugar Rush, Beowulf and many more exciting video slots.
Of course, many baccarat, blackjack and roulette variants are available in Whamoo’s Live Casino which is powered by Pragmatic Play software. You are connected by high resolution video feed to professional dealers and croupiers in one of the Pragmatic Play casino studios where you can experience the thrills of a real life casino behind your computer or mobile phone. It’s almost like you are standing in Vegas!

STAKELOGIC GAMES

Stakelogic is another popular software developer which has added its games to the Whamoo game library. As one of the best-known developers in the software industry, it is always a good sign that Stakelogic games are available to play given that this company has made some exciting video slots.
Using HTML5, Stakelogic games are of course fully mobile compatible, which means you can play them on your smartphone as well. The company has also made some exciting new 3D slots which are not only gorgeous to look at but also wild fun to play. As an off-shoot company from gaming giants Novomatic, Stakelogic certainly is a reputable software developer which can be trusted when it comes to fairness and reliability.
Popular Stakelogic games are Epic Slam, Wild Stallion, Magic Wheel, Super Wild Arcade, Fruit Spinner, Lucky Gems Deluxe, Hot Fruits, Grand Slam Deluxe, Runner Runner, Turbo 4 Player Jackpot, Dragons and Magic, Big 5 Jungle Jackpot, Mariachi and The Big Cash Game.
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High limit gaming options

Whamoo is an online casino which is not only suitable for gamblers on a tight budget, but also for the true high rollers. You can place bets as low as a few cents, or as high as several thousands of euros or dollars at this online casino. Depending on your game of choice, whether its a jackpot video slot or classic table game, there are countless of options to bet big for maximum excitement and chances of winning top prizes. Further down in this Whamoo review, we will discuss some of the high limit games which are available.
Highrollers should also note that Whamoo comes with its own VIP programme in which you can quickly work yourself to the top category if you bet big. You can get instant access to your own dedicated casino manager and will get invites to high stakes tournaments. There are special weekly cashback bonuses as well for the true high roller gamblers at Whamoo. We will discuss the VIP program more in depth a bit further down this Whamoo review.
For now, let’s take a look at all the high roller games which are available at Whamoo Online Casino!

Endless rows of jackpot video slots

If you are a real lover of video slots you will be glad to hear that Whamoo has several hundreds of online video slots available. Although some of these slots are more suitable for beginning players or those on a tight budget, there are plenty of slots available where you can bet up to 100 euro/dollar per spin. This makes for some exhilarating and thrilling slot game action which will please any high stakes gambler out there!
Of course, Whamoo also has its share of jackpot slots where you have a shot at winning the progressive jackpot which can run well above a million euro or dollar! These premium slots, such as those using the famous Megaways system, offer countless of opportunities to place maximum bets at your video slot of choice.
Check the Whamoo game library whether or not your favourite slot is available as well, or try one of the many exciting new game additions! It is easy to browse through the Whamoo website. You can sort slots by software provider, or use the search function to check for your beloved title.

Join for some high stakes blackjack action

Blackjack has always been one of the most popular games among high rollers and the reasons why are quite clear. You can often bet high amounts of money on a single play and you can as a player slightly influence the outcome of a game as you need to decide whether you want to stand or hit another card.
At Whamoo, there is plenty of high stakes blackjack action. There are both normal blackjack games such as American Blackjack and multihand Blackjack, as well as blackjack tables in the live casino. In the live casino, which is powered by Pragmatic Play software, you can play several blackjack variants. Bets of up to several hundreds of euros or dollars, or even higher for the real VIPs, are possible.
Beat the hand of the dealer and hit that score of 21. Maybe it will be your lucky day playing blackjack at Whamoo Online Casino!

Grab a seat at the roulette table

There is plenty of roulette action at Whamoo as well. You can choose between virtual roulette versions, or opt for a seat at a roulette table in the live casino, where you are connected to a real-time croupier by video feed. Especially in the live casino high bets of up to a thousand dollar or more are possible, making roulette a big favourite among the real high stake gamblers.
Of course, Whamoo Casino has all of the the standard roulette versions of American Roulette, French Roulette and European Roulette. Most of these games are developed by software giants NetEnt.
In the live casino, there is also Roulette Macao Live, where you will be connected to a gaming environment which makes you feel like you are playing in the famous casinos of this Chinese gambling mecca. Live Speed Roulette, Live Roulette Auto and Roulette Azure are popular Pragmatic Play live casino versions of roulette which are available to Whamoo players.
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Whamoo's unique bonus package

One area in which Whamoo stands out as online casino is its great bonus package. Of course, there is a great welcome bonus for newly registered users. But the fun doesn’t stop there! At Whamoo casino, it is bonus day almost every single day of the week. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays the casino has recurring bonus offers if you reload you bankroll on one of those days. This makes Whamoo not only an attractive casino at the moment you sign up, but also at all those moments when you come back to play again.
300 free spins or a €200 deposit bonus

The Whamoo welcome bonus

We start of discussing the Whamoo welcome bonus which is called the “Welcombo” bonus by the casino. On a picture the Welcombo might not look too appealing as its packed in a carton takeaway box you might get at a certain fast food restaurant, but trust us on this: its contents are truly fantastic.
The Welcombo box contains a combination of goodies you get with your very first deposit at Whamoo. And what is best of all? You can decide what combo you want to receive! If you sign up at Whamoo for a free online casino account, you can determine your own bonus by adjusting the slide until you have found a combination which matches your idea of a perfect bonus.
This is a great option as it allows people to choose the bonus which best suits them. You can choose between free spins and a deposit bonus – or a combination of both. If you are an avid video slot gamer and do not care much about table games, you may want to slide all the way to the maximum free spins bonus. In that case, you will receive 300 free spins, but your deposit bonus will be 0%. The free spins in the Welcombo package are valid on the popular Amatic Industries slot Book of Fortune.
On the other hand, if you only care about table games and are not really interested in free spins and playing video slots, you want to adjust the slide to the maximum deposit bonus. This is a 100% deposit bonus of up to 200 euro. This means that if you deposit 200 euro of your own money to your newly created online casino account, Whamoo will top this up by another 200 euro from the house! If you select the full 100% deposit bonus, you will however not receive any free spins at all.
Of course, you can also opt for a mix between free spins and a deposit bonus. If you leave the slider in the middle, you will get 150 free spins and a 50% deposit bonus, for example. You can tweak this in any direction you want, for example to a 70% deposit bonus and 90 free spins. The higher your deposit bonus, the less free spins you receive. Want more free spins? Then your deposit bonus will decrease.

Welcombo bonus terms and conditions

Only one bonus is allowed per household and/or per player account. Do note that Whamoo’s bonuses remain valid until seven days after the required deposit has been made. Once this period ends, the bonus is automatically flagged as expired by the system and can no longer be released. The expired bonus funds are then automatically removed from the player’s account.
Of course, there is a wagering requirement which must be met in order to withdraw your bonus money and any winnings which may derive from it. Real money balance is used prior to bonus balance. The bonus balance will only be used when there is no real money available in your account. Only real money funds and released bonus funds can contribute towards the wagering requirement of the bonus. The wagering requirement for the Welcombo deposit bonus and free spins is thirty times (30x) the deposit + bonus.
Do note that players that deposit money using Paysafecard, Skrill or Neteller are not eligible for the Welcombo. To assure fair gaming and prevent fraud, Whamoo has placed a maximum cap on bonus money wagers, which are limited to a maximum per round/bet of €5 or its equivalent in other currencies. You should also be aware that certain games cannot be played using bonus money. There is a full overview of these games on the Whamoo bonus page.
Bets placed in certain games might not contribute fully to the wagering requirements.

Recurring bonuses at Whamoo

The bonus fun does not stop at the welcome bonus when you play at Whamoo! You can count on a constant stream of promotional campaigns and bonus offers. The casino has recurring promo offers every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If you deposit some extra money to your online casino bankroll on one of those days, you are eligible for a bonus. It therefore pays off to wait for these days before you decide to reload your online funds.
On Monday it is Pick ‘n’ Play day to start off the week with some good vibes. On this day, the casino basically tops up your deposited money You can:
It is even possible to combine these bonuses if you want to deposit a larger sum! Alternatively, you can use the bonus codes of WHPICK5, WHPICK15 and WHPICK35 by putting these into the promo code field on the cashier page every Monday.

Whoa Wednesday

Wednesday is for many a difficult day in the week, it being right in the middle of another long week of work. To spice up things, Whamoo has come with an unusual bonus which it calls “Whoa Wednesday”.
Every Wednesday you get to uncover your secret gift – for free, no strings attached. The casino will add this gift to your next deposit. This can be a bonus, a set of free spins, or even both. You’ll get all the details once you’ve pulled off the cover and logged into your account. You will receive the bonus details and promotional code, which you can use in the promo field at the payment page to receive your hard-earned Wednesday bonus.

Freeday bonus

Friday is the favourite day of the week for many people – and the reason why is quite obvious. It marks the end of another working week and the start of some well-deserved weekend R&R! For many people this involves paying a visit to a land-based or online casino to get their kicks at their favourite game, whether it is a card game, roulette or video slot.
Whamoo knows that many people cannot wait for the days off work to start and therefore has come up with a special Friday bonus to welcome in the weekend! This bonus day is called ‘Freeday’ by Whamoo. The casino basically hands you a bunch of free spins if you are a regular customer. For every weekday from the previous week (Friday through Thursday) that you’ve deposited 30 euro or more, you get 10 free spins. For every weekend day you even get 20 Free Spins! That means up to 90 Free Spins are yours to play with. That’s a great start to a weekend full of partying and fun!

Wagering requirements

Do note that wagering requirements do apply to all daily promo offers. These are more or less the same as we outlined above in the description of the welcome package, but do take a look at the bonus terms and conditions page on the Whamoo website to know precisely what you can expect! As always, it is important to read the small print in order not to face any surprises later on.
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A fully mobile compatible casino

As a brand new online casino, Whamoo knows that already a majority of gamblers nowadays play on their mobile phones rather than on computers. Because of this, the Whamoo casino is fully compatible with mobile devices and tablets. If you load the Whamoo website on your smartphone, it looks just as good as on your laptop of computer. It’s equally accessible and orderly too! The mobile website is a breeze to browse through and you can easily access all the important pages such as the game library and payment page.
The same counts for the actual games themselves. Whamoo only works with software providers which are known to offer full mobile gaming support. These games are made in code such as HTML5, which means that the games can simply be played in your (mobile) internet browser. There is no download or special app required to play these games. Whether you are playing on your computer, tablet or smartphone, you simply surf to Whamoo.com and select your favourite game from the library. This game will then open in your internet browser – and you can play instantly. It does not matter whether your phone runs on Android or is an iPhone, nor does it matter whether you have Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, Internet Explorer, Opera, Safari or any other internet browser. Whamoo will function just fine!
This is absolutely great as you can now play at Whamoo wherever you are, whenever you want. Want to put down some wagers on the roulette table while you are sitting in public transport on your way to work? That’s easily doable! Just take out your smartphone on the train or bus, and surf to Whamoo.com to play at your favourite roulette table. Are you sitting on your couch at home and want to play a few hands of blackjack before going to sleep? Just take out your laptop, tablet or phone and within seconds you can have some of the most exhilarating blackjack fun on your screen.

The Whamoo Live Casino

Whamoo’s live casino is powered by Pragmatic Play and NetEnt software – which are two of the biggest, most reputable software providers in the world. This is great news for the players, as you can access high quality tables in just a few clicks.
In the live casino, you are connected with a live video feed to a real-time casino table in one of the casino studios of these software providers. You can play games like baccarat, blackjack and roulette like you are standing in a real land-based casino in Vegas or Monaco! Thanks to the high definition video stream, you have a great overview of all the action which unfolds on and around the table.
All table games are led by experienced, professional croupiers and dealers who are not only well-trained, but entertaining as well. By all means, feel free to open your microphone or the chat window to have a talk with them, or even with other players from around the world. This is what makes the live casino such a great invention. Even though you might be sitting at home in front of your laptop or computer, it does almost feel like you are standing in a casino for real!
Especially for high rollers the live casino is a worthwhile addition as table limits are often much higher than in regular games. Of course, if you are on a tight budget there will definitely be live casino tables where low minimum bets are allowed too – no worries there. But it is the experienced, high stakes gambler who probably feels most at home in the live casino.
There are multiple baccarat, blackjack and roulette variants which you can play. For roulette, there is American Roulette, European Roulette, French Roulette, Speed Roulette, Live Roulette Auto and Roulette Macao Live. If you prefer the casino classic of blackjack, you will find plenty of different tables all with slightly different betting limits. Baccarat is perhaps the game with the highest betting limit. Besides the regular version, there are also Speed Baccarat tables. A fourth casino game which can be played live at the Whamoo Live Casino is Sic Bo. Just browse through the list of live casino games, or use the search function to find your favourite table!
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EMUCASINO REVIEW

If you haven’t ever played at EmuCasino or at least heard of these guys before, you must have been living under a rock for the past few years. Introduced in 2012, the casino had slowly started building quite a reputation, based on a large selection of top-quality games provided by some of the most powerful players in the online casino software niche.
Even though the name and all the other visual clues strongly suggested these guys have strong ties to Australia, there were some radical changes that took place at the beginning of 2020.
It may come off as a bit strange to name a casino after the emu bird at first, but despite the obvious geographical connections, this peculiar animal is actually deprived of its ability to move backward and it can endure the most extreme conditions and situations, so there’s even more symbolism right there.
Alas, the latest set of changes doesn’t really reflect the forward-thinking they were so eager to embrace so far…
This change will only affect punters who try to access the site from Australia, and it will operate as normal to all the other players who access from outside of Australia.
Aside from these, there really isn’t that much to complain about, as the casino offers quite a capable online betting platform that works on both mobile and desktop devices, while their palette of promo offers will satisfy even the most discerning bonus hunters out there.
Let’s pop the hood open and check what these guys have to offer to the non-Australian gambling world, shall we?
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Promotional Offers

This is one of the areas where this venue shines the brightest, as they really know how to throw a good party.
First of all, they will welcome you with some extra spins, so how cool is that? Not only they give off some casino spins, they also provide you with an opportunity to try out the casino before deciding whether you want to stay for good. With each new player registration, there is a symbolic extra spins bonus that can be used on some games.
If you decide you like what you’ve seen, you will be greeted with hefty match deposit bonuses for your first three deposits, which is quite generous in our book.
Is your birthday today? Just send out some documents to confirm it and you will receive your free birthday gift! If you’re into gamification, you will be delighted to hear that there are always Casino Races available.
Last but not least, it comes as no surprise that they have a custom progressive VIP club to reward their most loyal customers. It is based on EmuPoints which can be collected with various actions on their site, including registration, daily logins and gameplay, depositing, and games wagering.
You can always track your points rather easily, but you can also spend them at the EmuShop. Depending on what you prefer, you can exchange your EmuPoints for extra spins, deposit bonuses, cash rewards, and various other prizes such as exclusive trips.
This club is tiered, and each tier comes with its own set of perks and goodies, including a different web interface, bespoke gifts, personalized customer support, prioritized withdrawals, invites to exclusive events, exclusive promo offers, bonuses, and more. The tiers include Newbie, Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum, and Elite.
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EmuCasino Games

There are hundreds and hundreds of games available at EmuCasino, and they are provided by some of the flashiest names in the online casino software industry. Probably the best bit about their extensive games lobby is that it features quite a comprehensive filtering system, so you can choose between Featured Games, Most Played, or Most Rewarding, in case you don’t know where to begin.
Also, you can browse the games by theme, including Sports, Lifestyle, Fantasy, Entertainment, Culture, Adventure, Action, and Old Skool.
Still, it all boils down to several categories that we’ve grown to see in online casinos all around the globe, so they include Pokies (that’s Australian for video slots, in case you didn’t know), Jackpots, Blackjack, Roulette, Video Poker, and Other Games.

Supported Devices and Platforms

In 2015, EmuCasino has been thoroughly revamped and that’s when they had introduced the new platform which works equally well on both desktop and mobile devices.
Nowadays, you can access the casino from Windows, Android and iOS devices, and the same goes for all desktop and laptop computers. You can easily switch between any of these, as the design is streamlined and made to work equally well across all platforms.
Reaching the site, logging in, and playing all your favorite games has never been this easy, and you can do so on the go. Take it all with you, and possibly even score some cash while being stuck in a traffic jam, waiting in line, or simply while relaxing on a park bench.
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Banking Methods

As usual, we always expect reputable online casinos to provide us with as many different payment options as possible, and that’s exactly the case over here.
First off, the list of accepted currencies includes Australian Dollar, Canadian Dollar, Euro, British Pound, US Dollar, Japanese Yen, Swedish Krona, Norwegian Krona, New Zealand Dollar, and Bitcoin.
When it comes it placing a deposit, you can rely on the usual slew of deposit or credit cards from MasterCard, Maestro, and Visa. Sure, if you prefer banking methods that are a bit more modern, you will be glad that they accept deposits made with Neosurf and Neteller. Keep in mind that each method has its own max deposit limitations, but the minimum deposit is always limited to 10 EUR.
Those who choose the methods that provide unmatched levels of anonymity usually go for some of the prepaid voucher cards, and if that’s your thing you can use your UPayCard and PaySafeCard here.
Last but not least, it’s good to know that these guys are definitely a forward-thinking bunch, as they will also accept deposits made by using Bitcoin.
The situation is a bit different when it comes to making withdrawals after you’ve scored some cash. You can only rely on VISA credit or debit cards, while e-wallet and voucher users can now only use EcoPayz, MyNeosurf, and UPayCard.
Of course, Bitcoin is still an option, but there is also another one that isn’t available for depositing, and that’s bank transfer. Minimum withdrawal for MyNeoSurf and bank transfers is 50 EUR, while all the other methods have it capped it at 20 EUR. Maximum withdrawal is 2,500 EUR, except for bank transfers, where it’s much higher at 10,000 EUR.
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Customer Support

Customer support is one of the most important aspects of all online betting venues, and it is definitely a good idea to include a nicely laid and out and comprehensive FAQ page. Over here users can find answers to most of their questions without ever reaching out to the casino staff, which saves a lot of time both to users and customer support agents.
Luckily enough, these guys are well aware of all the advantages a proper FAQ page offers, so they’ve included one on their site. Over here you will find questions neatly segmented into several main categories, including General, Player Accounts, Bonuses And Promotions, Deposit And Withdrawals, and Casino Games.
In case these simply don’t cut it for you, then you will need to reach out to the customer support agents, and when that’s the case, there are two options available at your disposal.
First off, you can fill out a form on their site and send in your inquiry. They claim that the agents are operational 24/7, so they should get back to you as soon as possible.
Still, if your matters are rather urgent and you can’t sit around waiting for their response, it’s good to know that they also have an excellent live chat platform. Over there, you can type away all of your issues in a matter of mere minutes.
Once they did have phone support as well, but that simply isn’t the case anymore.
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Licencing

EmuCasino does have an operating license, but their site doesn’t state which one. There are many trustworthy and reliable certificates that confirm these guys do care about their customers.
Besides that, they have a very neat and sweet page on responsible gaming, where they will teach you how to gamble responsibly and show you all the different options including limitations and self exclusion. Also, there are links and further info on various support groups such as Gamblers Anonymous, Gambling Therapy, Gambling Help Online, and more.
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CasinoDep at a Glance

There is something about CasinoDep that got us thinking. This pirate-themed casino fronted by a buck-toothed pirate with a pot-belly invites us to explore the seven seas in hunt of treasures.
Although the name of the casino itself got us scratching our heads, our first thought was that it was based on actor Johnny Depp’s role in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise. Maybe this is a little far fetched, but the theme is eerily familiar.
But if we put the theme to the side, CasinoDep is a colourful and vibrant casino that should appeal to players who want more than a dark design background. This casino oozes fun and it shows from the get-go.
As a player, you can feast on the CasinoDep no deposit bonus and a rather enticing welcome deposit offer. The games on offer cover all game preferences and everything has been clearly marked to help you navigate with ease.
Keep on reading to learn more about CasinoDep and what is on offer for you when you register for an account.

CasinoDep Bonus: Welcome Offer

To set you off on your voyage, CasinoDep rewards you with 20 free spins no deposit on online slot Booming Bananas, the moment you sign up for a free account.
Once you’re all set, you can then claim the welcome deposit offer. You simply need to make a minimum deposit of €/C$20 to claim:
  • AFTER REGISTRATION (WITHOUT DEPOSIT) 20 Bonus Spins (Booming Bananas slot)
  • FIRST DEPOSIT100% Bonus up to €200 + 20 Bonus Spins
Registration takes less than a minute and you can get your hands on the no deposit free spins in no time.
  • Minimum deposit: €20.
  • Wagering requirements: 40x.
Relevant T&Cs: Available to all new players, 18+. No deposit free spins are subject to an 80x wagering requirement with a €/C$30 cap on winnings. The welcome bonus is subject to a 40x wagering requirement, while the free spins have an 80x playthrough. Various game contributions apply. Please gamble responsibly.
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Other CasinoDep Bonuses and Promotions

CasinoDep runs various pirate-themed promotions throughout the week that should satiate your hunger for fun, including:
Free Spins Wednesday
Every Wednesday, you can get your hands on free spins. Simply make at least one deposit on a Wednesday and you’ll get your bonus the following week.

€/C$1,000 Wager Wars

Bring out your competitive side and join a slot tournament. There is a prize pool of €/C$1,000 up for grabs. Make it to the top to win a share of the prize pot.
CasinoDep Withdrawal Review
The minimum withdrawal amount at CasinoDep stands at a hefty €/C$50, which is quite high if you are looking to cash out. Though it is not unheard off, it is quite steep for low-rollers.
It has a small range of withdrawals methods, including both standards and e-wallet options. You can also use bitcoin to cash out your withdrawals, though it comes with a 1% surcharge. We’re never happy with seeing withdrawal charges, but this along with bank transfers are the only exception.
  • Standard currencies accepted: EUR, CAD, NOK, USD, PLN and BTC.
  • Cryptocurrencies accepted: Bitcoin.
  • Minimum deposit: €20.
  • Minimum withdrawal amount: €50.
Withdrawals can take between three and five working days to be processed.

Deposits & Withdrawal Methods available at CasinoDep

CasinoDep does not have the biggest range of payment methods on offer. It covers all the most prominent payment methods, but it might not be enough for players who are looking for more variety.
You can opt for the usual suspects, including Visa and Mastercard, e-wallets such as Neteller, Skrill and Neosurf as well as bank transfers.
Canadian players can opt for Interac or ecoPayz to make their deposits.

Play 2,200+ CasinoDep Games

CasinoDep has a bountiful game library brimming with a variety of games that should keep you spin-happy. These games are shown into convenient game categories, including New, Live Casino, Slots, Table, Arcade and Jackpots. You can also search for games by the game provider or by name.
The list of game suppliers might not be the longest one out there, but it comes all the basis to bring you a solid collection of top-notch names, including NetEnt, Microgaming, Betsoft, Thunderkick, Endorphina, Evolution Gaming and Red Tiger.
We were quite satisfied with the games on offer, especially when it comes to jackpots. We’ve noticed a recent trend where casinos skip progressive jackpots for the more trendy daily drops and wins. This wasn’t the case here.

Slots

Slot games make up the biggest chunk of the game library at CasinoDep. To help you navigate even better through this mammoth collection, you can browse games by Bonus Games, Last Released and Most Played. This is very handy for players who haven’t quite made up their mind yet and need a little extra help.
Amongst some of the big games on offer, there is Gonzo’s Quest, Turn your Fortune, the Starburst game, Dead or Alive, Jumanji and Take the Bank.
The jackpot section is what truly delighted us though. We found all player favourites, including the epic Mega Moolah, Divine Fortune, The SlotFather and At the Copa amongst others.

Live Casino

CasinoDep is also home to a variety of RNG table games for players who prefer a no-fuss gaming session. You can find all classic casino games that we’ve grown to love.
For players who want something a little different, the enhanced live casino section is powered by none other than Evolution Gaming. This always bodes well as the games are of the highest calibre.
You can play a variety of Live Blackjack, Live Roulette and Live Baccarat variants. However, you can also join one of the many game shows, including Deal or No Deal, Monopoly Live, Dream Catcher and Crazy Time amongst others.

Software Developers found at CasinoDep

You can find circa 29 big game developers at CasinoDep. These game suppliers are some of the best and most trustworthy game suppliers in the industry, so you are in safe hands when it comes to RNGs and fairness.
Amongst some of the big names available here, there is NetEnt, Microgaming, Quickspin, Thunderkick, Playson, Red Tiger, Evolution Gaming, Betsoft, Gamomat and Nextgen Gaming.

Look & Feel of CasinoDep

As mentioned earlier, we think CasinDep has kept the design simple, colorful and fun, which is super for players who don’t want a serious casino. However, it can also border on looking outdated on some pages.
On mobile, CasinoDep worked seamlessly. We had to connect to the wi-fi to enjoy live dealer games without any glitches, but that is always expected with games that require huge bandwidth.
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Licenses & Restricted Countries

CasinoDep is licensed and regulated by the Curacao Gambling Commission.
Games by developers are independently tested by third parties and have their random number generators audited on a regular basis for fairness.
Restricted countries: The United Kingdom and Northern Ireland, the United States of America, the Netherlands, Italy, Spain and France amongst others. Please check beforehand if your country is on the restricted list.

Customer Support

CasinoDep does not currently offer 24/7 customer support. The team is available to answer any questions or queries you might have between 5 a.m. and 9 p.m. GMT.
  • Support Languages: English.
  • Opening hours: 5 a.m. to 9 p.m. GMT.
  • Phone: No.
  • Live Chat: Yes.
  • Email for general queries: [email protected]
Compare CasinoDep to your Favourite Casino
Whether you are looking for a bigger casino bonus or a welcome casino package with all the bells and whistles, we can help you find the right casino based on your preferences.
You can filter out options by bonus offers, game suppliers and much more. Just use our casino comparison tool to find your next casino.
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CasinoDep Casino FAQs

Want to know more about CasinoDep? Take a look at our FAQ.

1. What’s the welcome offer at CasinoDep?

Once you have snapped up your 20 no deposit bonus spins, you can claim a 100% match deposit bonus up to €/C$200 + 20 bonus spins. Various wagering requirements and game contributions apply.

2. What is the minimum withdrawal amount at CasinoDep?

The minimum threshold for withdrawals stands at €50 at CasinoDep. There might be fees and surcharges added depending on your chosen method.

3. How long do withdrawals take to be processed at CasinoDep?

Depending on your chosen payment method, withdrawals can take between 3 and 5 working days. It would take a few more days on top to reach your bank account.

4. Is there a CasinoDep mobile casino app?

No. Like all new and modern casinos, CasinoDep was created using the latest HTML5 technology. This ensures that the site is fully responsive and optimized for mobile phones and tablets.
You can play directly from your web browser.

5. Are there any jackpot games available at CasinoDep?

Yes. You can find player favorites, including Mega Moolah, Divine Fortune, and SlotFather. The collection of jackpot games is quite vast. There are no daily drops and wins on offer.
submitted by freespinsgratis_com to u/freespinsgratis_com [link] [comments]

Island Jackpots Casino Free Spins and No Deposit Bonus Code

Island Jackpots Casino Free Spins and No Deposit Bonus Code

Island Jackpots Casino free spins and welcome bonus
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Island Jackpots Casino Review

There are worse islands to be stuck on than Island Jackpots. This is an extremely pleasant looking island, as a glance at the site’s homepage reveals. The mascot for the site looks a little bit like a Lego man, one who's just washed up on a desert island. You can make out his capsized boat in the background but he doesn't look too disappointed, probably because of the huge stack of gold coins half buried in the sand. Jackpots are a big deal at this site as you would expect of an online casino with jackpots in its name.
There are record jackpots to be won and a jackpot tracker to supposedly give you an indication of when major jackpots are primed and ready to pay out. With loads of great slots including a whole bunch by NetEnt there are plenty of reasons why you might want to get better acquainted with Island Jackpots.

About Island Jackpots Casino

Island Jackpots is operated by Cassava Enterprises Limited, a company who are based in Gibraltar and have vast experience of operating gaming sites within the United Kingdom. They operate loads of bingo sites and online casinos, of which Island Jackpots is their latest operation. Cassava Enterprises are owned by 888 UK, who in turn are licensed and regulated by the Great Britain Gambling Commission.
The Island Jackpots brand is owned by a company named Tau Marketing Services Ltd who are based in London. Cassava Enterprises are prone to acquiring names and brands for sites from third parties in this manner. One cool feature about Island Jackpots is that you can see the number of players who are online at any given moment in time, a number which on average will be over 1,000. If you require customer support while playing at the site you can send an email but apparently it will take up to 48 hours to get a response. There is also a freephone UK number which operates from 9am until 1am seven days a week.

Banking on the Island

There are a number of ways to deposit funds into your Island Jackpots account. The payment provider logos that are visible in the footer on the homepage show the following options: Paysafecard, Neteller, Visa, MasterCard, Maestro and PayPal. These might not be the only deposit options available, but Cassava Enterprises sites are traditionally extremely poor when it comes to providing information about deposits. As a consequence there may be other options that aren't disclosed to you. Within the FAQ on the site you’ll learn that withdrawals take 48 hours to be processed and that options include credit card, cheque, Neteller, wire transfer and PayPal.

Bonuses in Development?

There doesn't appear to be an awful lot available at Island Jackpots in terms of bonuses. This may simply be due to the fact that the site is a new addition to the scene and has yet to devise proper promotions. As it stands, there is only a welcome bonus available. Deposit £10 and you will be given a 100% match plus 10 free spins. This sum is subject to a 35 times wagering requirement before it can be withdrawn. As bonus offers go, this is an extremely poor one and one seems unlikely to entice players to sign up.
If you're going to play at this site regardless then you might as well claim the £10 bonus plus 10 free spins but it's hardly something you're going to go out of your way to collect. There is also a VIP scheme in operation at Island Jackpots which rewards players with monthly bonuses and other perks. Full information on how this works and what’s in store for you is unavailable without signing up and logging in to the site.
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You’ve Hit the Jackpot With Slots

There are over 300 slots available at Island Jackpots, most of which seem to be by NetEnt. On the homepage you will find a grid displaying all kinds of colourful games that are just begging to be played. As Island Jackpots are swift to point out, it takes less than two minutes to join whereupon you will be able to put all of the slots through their paces, enjoying them on desktop, mobile or tablet. Games that catch the include Rainbow Riches, Fairytale Legends Little Red Riding Hood, Irish Eyes, Starburst, Fairytale Legends Hansel and Gretel and Guns N Roses. There’s also the Sharknado slot which should be a whole bunch of fun to play. Some of these games look extremely entertaining, despite the fact that these are the same slots as you'll find at most other Cassava Enterprises sites.
Still, if you had to play exclusively at Island Jackpots, it would take you some time before you worked your way through all of the games that are available on this site. There is no disputing that there are some great games in the mix with themes ranging from historical legends to vampires and from classic slots to Oriental culture. On the homepage you will find an Island Recommendation section that is filled with games which the operators of the site deem to be particularly noteworthy.
There is also a second section devoted solely to jackpot games where you will find the likes of Mega Fortune, Fluffy Favourites and Millionaire Genie. Again, you’ll encounter the same games that will crop up at loads of Cassava Enterprises sites. These might be generic slots but there is still every reason to give them a go given that there are some major sums of money to be won from these games should you be fortunate enough to land the jackpot prize.

Island Jackpots Conclusion

As Cassava Enterprises sites go, Island Jackpots is a well designed and inviting site, with some great games one which is easy to browse. There are plenty of reasons why you might want to sign up here, not least on account of the slots. Although NetEnt slots tend to be available at a great many casinos, this doesn't take away from the fact that this developer are responsible for creating some of the best looking games currently available on the web. From Guns N Roses to Pixies of the Forest, NetEnt games look great and are a pleasure to play. Nice as this is, there are loads of sites where you can do such a thing and in that respect Island Jackpots offers nothing new. The most disappointing thing about this site though is the fact that there is only £10 in bonus cash to be claimed for signing up plus 10 free spins.
Given that this offer is displayed on the homepage alongside talk of jackpots worth almost £2 million, it seems kind of miserly to be offering just £10 by way of a welcome bonus. However there are plenty of things about Island Jackpots that are positive including a fine range of deposit options and capable customer support. It’d be nice if there were more games by other developers and it'd be nice if there was the option of browsing the full range of games without being logged into the site, but this aside Island jackpots acquits itself well.
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submitted by freespinsbonus to u/freespinsbonus [link] [comments]

Yoju Casino 340 free spins and €500 free bonus code

Yoju Casino 340 free spins and €500 free bonus code

Yoju Casino Free Spins & Welcome Bonus
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  • 2. Go to the profile
  • 3. Choose Deposit Tab
  • 4. Make a minimum deposit of € 20.00 with a code
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COME ON BONUSES!

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Yoju Casino Reel Master’s Wednesday

Who's the master of the reels! You are! Just take your FS to show the best result!
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submitted by freespinsbonus to u/freespinsbonus [link] [comments]

FunFair Tokenomics 2020 - FunFair's FUN token and how it aligns incentives across 6 distinct groups of stakeholders to create a compelling gaming platform

FunFair has come a long way since I started following the team in 2017, recently adding a Japanese casino (the fourth casino now in the network), in-wallet purchase of FUN with credit/debit cards, the removal of the need for ETH to cover gas charges, browser and device-independent play, an easy to use wallet and a raft of new games.
Unlike many crypto projects where tokens were seen primarily as a fund-raising approach, the FUN token provides significant utility by coordinating the activities and incentives of the six stakeholder types within the FunFair ecosystem:
  1. FUN Token Holders
  2. Casino Players
  3. Affiliates and Referral Partners
  4. Licensed Operators and White Labels (Casinos)
  5. Game Developers
  6. Gaming Regulators
For me, the FUN token is THE perfect example of a project where the token has significant utility in aligning incentives across disparate stakeholders and is a poster child for effective tokenomics.
Here's my personal view on the value propositions and incentives for each of these groups:

FUN Token Holders

Casino Players

Affiliate and Referral Partners

Licensed Operators and White Labels (Casinos)

Game Developers

Gaming Regulators

As you can see, the value to each stakeholder is considerable - especially when compared to the current legacy technology - which is why I'm bullish that FunFair will be successful in achieving its mission of truly reinventing this industry.
What do you think? Do you see other value props? Let me know and I'll add them to the list!
submitted by dwrcrypto to FunfairTech [link] [comments]

Colorado breweries we've visited in the rest of the state: 2020 update

One more roundup before we leave, alas. Regions are still super approximate. I updated some previous rankings as well.
Tallies: 137 in the Denver metro; 66 in the rest of the Front Range; 33 in the rest of the state. We've visited a total of 236 breweries, cideries, and meaderies in Colorado.

The Rest of the Front Range

The Rest of Colorado (South, West, Central)

Current category tally: 33
submitted by xeinous to xpa [link] [comments]

King Billy Casino 200 Gratis Spins and $1500 Free Bonus

King Billy Casino 200 Gratis Spins and $1500 Free Bonus

King Billy Casino Free Bonus and Gratis Spins
Get $1500 Match Bonus and 200 Free Spins on Starburst or Fruit Zen at King Billy Casino! Exclusive bonus codes and promotions for new players.
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  • 2nd deposit: 50% limited to $ 300. Bonus Code: WELCOME2
  • 3rd deposit: 25% limited to $ 450. Bonus Code: WELCOME3
  • 4th deposit: 25% limited to $ 450. Bonus Code: WELCOME4
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King Billy Casino Review

King Billy Casino is operated by a Curacao-based company called Direx N.V. and has received a license from the Government of Curacao. You can enjoy online casino gaming services in six languages and wager in multiple currencies, including AUD, EUR, CAD, and USD.
If you want to make plenty of casino buddies and interact with them, you simply have to follow the online casino on social networking sites such as YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. King Billy appears to have a great reputation, considering the fact that it bears the approval of several online casino advocacy websites such as Slots Up, Slot Catalog, Ask Gamblers, Casino Professor, Casino Smash, and Pokies Portal.
King Billy Casino cares for the welfare of its customers, whom it affectionately calls “citizens.” If you need to talk to someone at the online casino, you only have to click on the red Live Chat button on the right of the website to instantly connect with a courteous and well-trained casino host. Customer support is also available through phone and email.
In addition, the online casino encourages its citizens to use its gambling management tools to play in a sensible manner. It also advises its citizens to protect their minor wards from gambling sites by using software filtering services such as Net Nanny, Cyber Patrol, GamBlock, and Solid Oak. If you are a problem gambler, you can approach the online casino’s partners GamCare, Gambling Therapy, and Gamblers Anonymous.
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Overview of Promotions

The aristocratic entertainment at King Billy Casino starts with five no-deposit free spins on Fruit Zen or Starburst slots. Once players load their accounts, they can claim a large four-level bonus of up to $1000 plus 200 free spins on featured slots.
And this isn’t all as there are special bitcoin bonuses, cashback offers, free spins, and match bonuses waiting for players at the online casino.
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  • If you load $20 to $49.99 in your account, you qualify for 20 free spins on Butterfly Staxx slot. If you load $50, the online casino will credit 50 free spins to your account.
  • The online casino also offers 25% on Monday deposits along with 25 free spins plus an unlimited, wager-free cashback bonus of 13% on Thursdays.
  • In addition, the online casino runs some lucrative tournaments, giving players opportunities to win some extra cash and plump their bankrolls.
The online casino also challenges players to climb up the aristocratic ladder through its five-level rewards program. You can earn King’s Points through real money play on slots and table games. Based on the number of King’s Points you have earned, you will be assigned levels such as Baron/Baroness, Duke/Duchess, Prince/Princess, and King/Queen. Depending on your loyalty level, you will be pampered with cashback offers and VIP managers. However, you can become a King/Queen only on invitation.
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Games and Software Providers

King Billy is a provably fair online casino that operates on the SoftSwiss browser-based software platform. Softswiss is famous for its rich portfolio of 2000+ online casino games developed by more than 20 providers, as follows:
  • iSoftBet
  • PlaynGo
  • NetEnt
  • NYX
  • Elk Studios
  • Thunderkick
  • Ainsworth
  • Yggdrasil
  • BGaming
  • Microgaming
  • Amatic Industries
  • Ezugi
  • Endorphina
  • Belatra
  • GameArt
  • Mr. Slotty
  • Pragmatic Play
  • Booming Games
  • EGT
  • Platipus
  • Spinomenal
  • Habanero
  • Evolution Gaming
  • Iron Dog Studio
  • 1x2 Gaming
The online casino library includes slots, table games, bitcoin games, and live games.
  • Slots– Play slots such as Football Superstar, Knockout Football, Chinese Zodiac, Hound Hotel, Football 3x3, Great Rhino, and Lucha Maniacs.
  • Table Games - The online casino has listed several variants of live dealer games, blackjack games, roulette games, and other popular table games in this category. You can choose from titles such as Party BJ, Blackjack Classic 1, Double Exposure, Baccarat Controlled Squeeze, Casino Hold'em, and Punto Banco.
  • Live Casino - Play live dealer games such as Auto Roulette, Baccarat Squeeze, and Blackjack Classic, all developed in the sophisticated studios of Evolution Gaming.
  • Bitcoin Games - Play Fruit Zen, Wild Shark, Aztec Magic, Satoshi's Secret, and Lucky Little Devil, to mention just a few.
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Jackpot Games at King Billy Casino

King Billy Casino offers 54 jackpot games that can make you richer by hundreds and thousands of dollars. Some of these jackpots run into six and even seven figures. For example, the jackpot of Glam Life is now worth $766,954 and rising, and the jackpot of Diamond Wild is $109,824 and rising.
Some of the most popular jackpot games at King Billy Casino are:
  • Cosmic Fortune
  • Gunslinger
  • Treasure Room
  • Mega Joker
  • Neon Reels
  • Tunzamunni
  • Lotsaloot
  • Diamond Progressive

King Billy Mobile Casino

King Billy operates on a robust browser-based software platform that uses HTML5 technology. The multi-vendor games at King Billy, therefore, are capable of tweaking their software to fit into the screen of any device in the world. As long as you have a mobile device with a browser and an Internet connection, you can play the games at King Billy on the move. You don’t have to download any app or software program. You just have to login and load the games on your browser.

Cashier

King Billy supports multiple currencies such as EUR, CAD, USD, SEK, AUD, NOK, RUB, ZAR, and Bitcoin. You can load your online casino gaming account instantly and free of charge. However, you have to wait for three banking days to see the funds in your account if you are depositing with Sofort.
The online casino permits a minimum deposit of $10 and a maximum deposit of $2500. However, the maximum limit for deposits made through iDebit and Instadebit is $3500. If you have selected Bitcoin as your preferred withdrawal method, you can load a minimum of 0.01 BTC to a maximum of 2BTC in your account.
The online casino offers the following safe, secure, and reliable payment options:
  • Credit cards such as MasterCard and Visa
  • Electronic wallets such as Skrill and Neteller
  • PaySafeCard
  • Bitcoin
  • iDeal
  • Instadebit
  • Sofort
  • Zimpler
  • Trustly
  • Qiwi
You can withdraw your winnings instantly and free of charge at King Billy Casino. However, Bank Transfer withdrawals take up to three working days. The online casino allows players to withdraw winnings in the range of $20 to $2500. However, you can withdraw up to $3500 if you choose iDebit and Instadebit as your withdrawal options. If you select Bitcoin as your withdrawal option, you can withdraw in the range of 0.01BTC to 0.125BTC. The only downside is that Australian players cannot use Neteller, EcoPayz, Skrill, and Trustly as withdrawal methods.
You can select one of the following whenever you want to withdraw money from your gaming account:
  • Credit cards such as Visa and MasterCard
  • Electronic wallets such as Neteller and Skrill
  • Trustly
  • Qiwi
  • Instadebit
  • Bank Transfer
  • Bitcoin
  • Qiwi
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In Conclusion

If you are looking for browser-based gaming platform capable of integrating games from multiple vendors, King Billy is the ideal online casino for you. The games are not only provably fair, but also tested thoroughly by iTech Labs. You can not only play on your desktop, but also on smartphones or tablets. King Billy has a great theme, offers an excellent rewards program, and welcomes players with generous bonuses.
It has a great support system too, which includes 24/7 live chat and an exhaustive FAQ. If you need help, you can send an email to [email protected] or use the telephone number +356-277-822-63.
submitted by freespinsmobile to u/freespinsmobile [link] [comments]

Words and frequencies across all lyrics

Bit of a pointless post but something I was curious about. Combining all the lyrics from DCFC songs Ben has written, here are all the words used and the frequency of them.
834 the 587 and 479 you 432 i 369 a 356 to 264 in 235 of 180 that 175 your 148 it 146 all 144 me 141 so 140 on 135 my 132 we 125 be 123 but 121 for 119 as 116 when 114 was 113 with 110 is 107 this 100 are 85 no 84 they 82 it's 77 there 77 from 76 our 76 like 72 there's 69 know 68 will 66 what 64 just 61 you're 61 love 61 at 60 can't 59 don't 57 if 56 never 56 gold 54 were 54 rush 54 down 52 time 52 through 50 nothing 49 i'm 48 away 47 out 47 not 46 have 46 could 44 oh 43 where 43 way 42 into 41 'cause 40 heart 39 same 39 one 38 then 38 only 37 how 37 every 36 see 36 i'll 35 would 34 some 32 more 31 up 31 find 30 been 30 back 29 their 28 won't 28 why 28 here 28 do 27 who 27 or 27 can 26 now 26 by 26 an 25 stay 25 new 25 got 25 go 24 sun 24 something 24 she 24 little 24 feel 24 around 23 you'll 23 sunlight 23 open 23 night 23 i've 23 always 22 used 22 home 22 had 21 you've 21 us 21 than 21 said 21 didn't 20 wanderer 20 too 20 let 20 left 20 keep 20 he 20 days 19 they're 19 long 19 both 19 about 18 think 18 them 18 sound 18 say 18 make 18 lines 18 life 18 hold 18 eyes 18 end 18 change 18 boys 17 want 17 these 17 off 17 loved 17 his 17 cause 17 before 16 someone 16 skin 16 past 16 need 16 gotta 16 am 15 we'll 15 waiting 15 take 15 spend 15 remain 15 ooh 15 head 15 far 15 fall 15 doors 14 true 14 that's 14 tell 14 place 14 people 14 mind 14 inside 14 hear 14 alone 13 underneath 13 turn 13 things 13 sea 13 old 13 move 13 morning 13 man 13 live 13 last 13 i'd 13 get 13 fool 13 did 13 behind 13 air 13 again 12 words 12 unlocked 12 trying 12 took 12 told 12 thought 12 much 12 many 12 friends 12 ever 12 come 12 along 11 thing 11 still 11 slowly 11 sky 11 should 11 seems 11 remember 11 look 11 light 11 her 11 haunted 11 hard 11 free 11 everything 11 digging 11 black 11 bed 10 years 10 year 10 well 10 those 10 such 10 street 10 slow 10 room 10 monday 10 modern 10 knew 10 hope 10 getting 10 face 10 even 10 empty 10 drive 10 dream 10 day 10 dark 10 came 10 best 10 age 9 wonder 9 we're 9 under 9 turned 9 town 9 thinking 9 someday 9 side 9 safe 9 possess 9 once 9 ocean 9 near 9 moved 9 meet 9 lying 9 kept 9 help 9 hands 9 fire 9 finally 9 door 9 distance 9 disappeared 9 city 9 begin 9 beautiful 9 anymore 8 windows 8 while 8 truth 8 tried 8 tonight 8 speak 8 soul 8 right 8 please 8 pity 8 mouth 8 mirror 8 mean 8 leaving 8 lead 8 kind 8 hole 8 gonna 8 glass 8 give 8 floor 8 fading 8 fade 8 everyone 8 ending 8 cannot 8 burning 8 burn 8 break 7 young 7 you'd 7 worse 7 within 7 wish 7 wind 7 wha 7 walls 7 walking 7 until 7 tears 7 standing 7 speed 7 sometimes 7 sleep 7 quite 7 own 7 over 7 oo 7 name 7 motion 7 mine 7 may 7 making 7 lonely 7 leave 7 ho 7 hand 7 ground 7 gives 7 filled 7 fear 7 dreamt 7 different 7 debris 7 cool 7 body 7 better 7 being 7 ask 7 arms 7 anything 7 alright 7 alive 7 'til 6 yet 6 upon 6 two 6 try 6 today 6 times 6 thread 6 talking 6 takes 6 synapse 6 sycamore 6 summer 6 stop 6 start 6 stars 6 spoke 6 soon 6 sleeping 6 single 6 play 6 paper 6 nothing's 6 names 6 myself 6 mess 6 memories 6 made 6 looking 6 lights 6 its 6 higher 6 hearts 6 he's 6 has 6 half 6 grows 6 gone 6 girls 6 ghosts 6 full 6 found 6 first 6 felt 6 feeling 6 fast 6 ends 6 else 6 el 6 either 6 each 6 dorado 6 document 6 couldn't 6 clothes 6 closer 6 clear 6 call 6 california 6 built 6 bring 6 brain 6 belly 6 believe 6 bah 6 bad 6 baa 6 awake 6 another 6 against 5 yourself 5 yes 5 work 5 window 5 went 5 watching 5 watch 5 wasn't 5 wanted 5 wait 5 turns 5 together 5 three 5 thin 5 tangled 5 talk 5 taken 5 swim 5 summer's 5 stage 5 song 5 somewhere 5 shoulders 5 shoes 5 set 5 seem 5 screaming 5 scene 5 saw 5 save 5 sad 5 roll 5 revolved 5 read 5 rain 5 put 5 pretend 5 pass 5 parallel 5 nue 5 must 5 moving 5 mistakes 5 mistake 5 meets 5 lovers 5 lost 5 lose 5 listen 5 lips 5 line 5 late 5 kid 5 ing 5 hotel 5 hides 5 held 5 heaven 5 grow 5 gotten 5 goodbye 5 gave 5 gates 5 frame 5 followed 5 follow 5 faster 5 fair 5 faces 5 expect 5 enough 5 engine 5 dying 5 drunk 5 dress 5 dancing 5 cut 5 cruel 5 cracks 5 concrete 5 compromise 5 close 5 cars 5 buildings 5 broken 5 binds 5 between 5 beside 5 bend 5 below 5 began 5 because 5 beast 5 any 5 angeles 5 above 4 yeah 4 wrong 4 worth 4 without 4 winter 4 who's 4 white 4 which 4 wheel 4 wedding 4 water 4 wanna 4 walked 4 waited 4 view 4 vast 4 twisting 4 travels 4 thinner 4 teeth 4 steel 4 started 4 squeaking 4 space 4 softly 4 smoke 4 skyline 4 simply 4 silence 4 sent 4 sense 4 s 4 run 4 rooms 4 road 4 return 4 rest 4 reach 4 plays 4 perfect 4 outside 4 other 4 occurred 4 northern 4 nights 4 news 4 mountain 4 miles 4 met 4 machine 4 los 4 looked 4 less 4 leaves 4 learned 4 lay 4 known 4 keeps 4 ivory 4 information 4 ice 4 hurricane 4 houses 4 house 4 holding 4 him 4 hills 4 highway 4 guns 4 guess 4 gets 4 forget 4 forever 4 flows 4 flames 4 fingers 4 filling 4 father 4 farther 4 fact 4 everybody 4 escape 4 embrace 4 earth 4 dreams 4 doubt 4 done 4 dear 4 darkened 4 crawling 4 condescending 4 comfort 4 clouds 4 closed 4 climbed 4 climb 4 clean 4 child 4 car 4 cameras 4 calling 4 brothers 4 boy 4 bound 4 bones 4 blinding 4 blame 4 beneath 4 awoke 4 autumn 4 after 3 youth 3 yours 3 world 3 working 3 worked 3 word 3 wine 3 wife 3 what's 3 weeks 3 we'd 3 wave 3 watched 3 warm 3 wander 3 vultures 3 very 3 vacancy 3 understand 3 type 3 twin 3 trust 3 top 3 tired 3 tiny 3 though 3 thinks 3 tether 3 television 3 taste 3 tall 3 sweet 3 swallowed 3 surround 3 supposed 3 strong 3 streets 3 stranger 3 storm 3 stood 3 stays 3 stayed 3 station 3 static 3 stare 3 stand 3 stable 3 spread 3 spent 3 speaks 3 snow 3 smaller 3 slip 3 slept 3 skies 3 size 3 sink 3 singing 3 signs 3 sights 3 shroud 3 shared 3 series 3 self 3 second 3 seat 3 seasons 3 searching 3 school 3 saved 3 satisfied 3 runs 3 running 3 rubble 3 river 3 rhythm 3 remains 3 remainder 3 regret 3 reflection 3 recall 3 really 3 re 3 rather 3 rainy 3 promises 3 possibilities 3 plates 3 plastic 3 planned 3 plan 3 plain 3 places 3 placed 3 part 3 others 3 ones 3 nowhere 3 noise 3 neighborhood 3 music 3 mother 3 monument 3 mistress 3 meant 3 matter 3 maps 3 makes 3 lover 3 lookin' 3 longer 3 lie 3 learn 3 lake 3 lack 3 kissed 3 kids 3 keeping 3 isn't 3 island 3 inaccurately 3 illuminate 3 hunger 3 hung 3 hours 3 horizon 3 hell 3 hang 3 grid 3 grey 3 grass 3 good 3 gon' 3 glued 3 front 3 four 3 fly 3 fish 3 feet 3 familiar 3 falls 3 failure 3 failing 3 explain 3 eventually 3 endless 3 embarks 3 echoes 3 easy 3 east 3 early 3 drown 3 double 3 doing 3 discover 3 died 3 die 3 diamond 3 design 3 defeated 3 defeat 3 deep 3 decide 3 death 3 countless 3 counting 3 count 3 comes 3 collide 3 cold 3 cloud 3 claim 3 cigarette 3 children 3 changes 3 ceiling 3 care 3 burst 3 brown 3 bright 3 breathe 3 bought 3 bottle 3 born 3 bodies 3 blurs 3 bird 3 become 3 became 3 beach 3 bar 3 band 3 astound 3 asleep 3 apartment 3 anywhere 3 ain't 3 ago 3 across 3 'no's 2 york 2 wreckage 2 worry 2 winter's 2 win 2 wild 2 wide 2 whose 2 whole 2 whiskey 2 weight 2 weathered 2 we've 2 waving 2 wash 2 wants 2 waking 2 wake 2 waitresses 2 vows 2 voice 2 vine 2 views 2 veins 2 upstate 2 untrustable 2 unobstructed 2 unfold 2 underground 2 unconscious 2 twos 2 twenty 2 tv 2 turning 2 truths 2 tripped 2 towards 2 touching 2 touch 2 tongue 2 tones 2 tires 2 tire 2 till 2 tied 2 ticking 2 thrown 2 threw 2 threes 2 thousands 2 thousand 2 they've 2 there'd 2 ten 2 technicolor 2 tear 2 taking 2 synchronized 2 symphony 2 sworn 2 swift 2 swept 2 sweat 2 sure 2 superhero 2 suit 2 strobe 2 strange 2 stranded 2 straight 2 store 2 stopped 2 stones 2 stomach 2 step 2 states 2 state 2 starts 2 starting 2 stands 2 stake 2 stairs 2 stacked 2 st 2 sputters 2 spring 2 splinter 2 spit 2 sphere 2 speaking 2 spat 2 spark 2 son 2 something's 2 someone's 2 soaring 2 smugded 2 smiling 2 smile 2 smell 2 slipping 2 slightest 2 slide 2 skid 2 six 2 sitting 2 sit 2 sings 2 silver 2 signed 2 sign 2 sifting 2 shrugged 2 show 2 shouldn't 2 shore 2 shift 2 shed 2 share 2 shards 2 shallow 2 shake 2 shadows 2 settling 2 setting 2 sets 2 separate 2 sees 2 seen 2 seemed 2 security 2 secrets 2 season 2 scream 2 scraping 2 scenes 2 sand 2 safety 2 rows 2 routine 2 role 2 roads 2 rhythms 2 resolve 2 repeat 2 renewed 2 remained 2 refrain 2 refine 2 red 2 record 2 recognize 2 reason 2 real 2 reading 2 reaction 2 reaching 2 ravine 2 railroad 2 radio 2 quietly 2 quiet 2 question 2 queen 2 pushing 2 push 2 pursuit 2 pulling 2 pulled 2 pull 2 prove 2 potential 2 portable 2 poor 2 point 2 piles 2 pile 2 picked 2 photographs 2 photobooth 2 photo 2 phone 2 peter's 2 perspective 2 peace 2 pavement 2 patterns 2 passing 2 passenger 2 parlor 2 pane 2 pages 2 packed 2 pack 2 pace 2 oxygen 2 overloads 2 overcoat 2 outrun 2 optimist 2 notes 2 network 2 nervous 2 needs 2 neck 2 morse 2 moment 2 misleading 2 mile 2 metal 2 message 2 mention 2 men 2 memory 2 melody 2 markers 2 map 2 magazines 2 losing 2 lonesome 2 living 2 let's 2 led 2 lawn 2 laughed 2 language 2 knows 2 knots 2 knock 2 killing 2 keys 2 jury 2 judge 2 jar 2 isolation 2 iron 2 invitation 2 intermittent 2 intentions 2 instincts 2 ingested 2 infinite 2 image 2 idealistic 2 hour 2 honest 2 homes 2 holds 2 hint 2 hill 2 hedgerows 2 heard 2 headlights 2 he'd 2 hardly 2 hardest 2 hair 2 guiding 2 guide 2 growing 2 grouped 2 greys 2 grave 2 granted 2 going 2 goes 2 god 2 glasses 2 giving 2 given 2 girl 2 gilded 2 ghost 2 further 2 furniture 2 funny 2 frost 2 friend 2 freeways 2 forward 2 foreign 2 foolish 2 fluorescent 2 flights 2 flight 2 flickering 2 flicker 2 five 2 fits 2 fit 2 fine 2 final 2 film 2 fill 2 figured 2 field 2 fiction 2 few 2 fences 2 fell 2 fearful 2 favorite 2 fault 2 faucet 2 family 2 false 2 falling 2 faithful 2 eye 2 except 2 evergreen 2 evening 2 entered 2 engulfed 2 easily 2 ears 2 ear 2 dusty 2 drowned 2 drove 2 drop 2 droop 2 driving 2 drinks 2 drinking 2 drilled 2 dressed 2 dollar 2 doesn't 2 does 2 dive 2 distracted 2 disorderly 2 disappointment 2 disappear 2 directions 2 details 2 desert 2 depths 2 deepest 2 decided 2 december 2 dealers 2 dead 2 daylight 2 date's 2 darling 2 darkest 2 darker 2 damn 2 cycle 2 curtain 2 cursed 2 currency 2 cup 2 crystal 2 cry 2 crowns 2 cross 2 crippling 2 crimes 2 crashing 2 country 2 conversations 2 construction 2 constant 2 coney 2 complications 2 completely 2 command 2 colors 2 color 2 coldest 2 code 2 coat 2 coast 2 clarity 2 circles 2 cigarettes 2 choice 2 chemicals 2 cheap 2 chattered 2 chase 2 chance 2 catholic 2 cathedral 2 cath 2 catches 2 carried 2 cans 2 candle 2 camera 2 cake 2 busy 2 bus 2 build 2 brownstone 2 brow 2 broke 2 bridges 2 bridge 2 bricks 2 bow 2 bounce 2 bottom 2 bored 2 book 2 blues 2 blue 2 bleed 2 beverly 2 bent 2 belong 2 believed 2 beginning 2 becomes 2 beauty 2 beat 2 bastard 2 ball 2 bags 2 baggage 2 backwards 2 backbone 2 aware 2 atmosphere 2 atlas 2 atlantic 2 assume 2 askew 2 arrived 2 applause 2 apologies 2 apart 2 anyone 2 anticipation's 2 answer 2 amputating 2 already 2 almost 2 alleys 2 alcohol 2 advancing 2 advances 2 admit 2 address 2 accident 1 zone 1 zeros 1 zentropic 1 z 1 youthful 1 youngest 1 yearning 1 yearn 1 yard 1 wrote 1 wrongs 1 written 1 writing 1 write 1 wrinkles 1 wrinkled 1 wretched 1 wrecking 1 wrap 1 wounds 1 worthwhile 1 worst 1 worn 1 works 1 workadays 1 wore 1 wool 1 wood 1 woken 1 woke 1 withered 1 wished 1 wires 1 wintery 1 winners 1 window's 1 winded 1 willow 1 whom 1 whispers 1 whenever 1 wheezed 1 wheels 1 wet 1 weights 1 weightless 1 weigh 1 week 1 weave 1 weather 1 weary 1 wearing 1 wealthy 1 weak 1 ways 1 waves 1 water's 1 wasting 1 wasted 1 waste 1 washes 1 warn 1 warming 1 war 1 wall 1 walk 1 waits 1 vowels 1 volume 1 voices 1 vision 1 violent 1 villain 1 vile 1 vicious 1 vessels 1 vessel 1 versus 1 verse 1 vengeful 1 vending 1 veiled 1 vase 1 varies 1 variables 1 van 1 valleys 1 valley 1 vacant 1 uv 1 using 1 urge 1 urban 1 upwards 1 upstream 1 upside 1 upcoming 1 unwired 1 unseen 1 unresponsive 1 unknown 1 uninspired 1 unfounded 1 undone 1 underwhelming 1 understood 1 understated 1 unconditionally 1 umbrate 1 twists 1 twine 1 twilight 1 twice 1 tvs 1 turnstile 1 tunnels 1 tunneled 1 tunnel 1 truly 1 trudged 1 trouble 1 trend 1 tree 1 treble 1 treasures 1 treacherous 1 travel 1 trapped 1 transistor 1 trains 1 train 1 trailed 1 tragic 1 traffic 1 trades 1 traded 1 track 1 tracing 1 towers 1 tower 1 towed 1 tourists 1 tourist 1 tour 1 touched 1 toss 1 tortured 1 tomorrow 1 tombs 1 tokyo 1 toes 1 toe 1 timony 1 timely 1 til 1 tight 1 tide 1 tidal 1 thus 1 thursday 1 thumb 1 thses 1 throwing 1 throat 1 thoughts 1 thirty 1 thirteen 1 thinning 1 thicker 1 thickening 1 they'll 1 they'd 1 theme 1 thanksgiving 1 th 1 terrified 1 tenderly 1 temptation 1 temporary 1 tempo 1 tells 1 telling 1 telescope 1 teen 1 teachers 1 teach 1 taught 1 tattered 1 tasting 1 tastes 1 target 1 tapped 1 tape 1 tank 1 tangles 1 tan's 1 tamed 1 tame 1 tallest 1 taillights 1 tabloid 1 tables 1 swore 1 swings 1 swinging 1 swinger 1 swiftest 1 sweep 1 sweaters 1 swear 1 sway 1 survive 1 surprised 1 surprise 1 surfaced 1 surface 1 super 1 sunk 1 sung 1 sunday 1 summers 1 sum 1 suited 1 sugary 1 suffered 1 sufferance 1 suddenly 1 suburbs 1 suburban 1 subcompact 1 styrofoam 1 stutter 1 stung 1 stumbling 1 stumbled 1 stumble 1 studies 1 stuck 1 strung 1 strumming 1 struggle 1 stripped 1 strings 1 stretch 1 strength 1 streaks 1 streaking 1 strands 1 strain 1 story 1 stormed 1 stopping 1 stocking 1 sting 1 stick 1 stenches 1 steered 1 steeple 1 stature 1 stated 1 starves 1 stared 1 stamped 1 stained 1 stain 1 staggering 1 squid 1 squeezed 1 squeeze 1 squeaky 1 squares 1 springtime 1 springs 1 split 1 splicing 1 spinsters 1 spine 1 spilt 1 spending 1 speeding 1 speech 1 sped 1 spectrum's 1 speck 1 span 1 souvenirs 1 southern 1 south 1 soused 1 sour 1 sounds 1 soundly 1 sounded 1 sorry 1 sorrow 1 songs 1 solutions 1 solution 1 soles 1 solely 1 soldier 1 sold 1 soil 1 soft 1 soaking 1 snub 1 snowing 1 sneaky 1 sneaking 1 smoking 1 smiles 1 smells 1 small 1 slurring 1 slur 1 slot 1 slopes 1 slips 1 slippery 1 slick 1 slew 1 sleeves 1 sledding 1 slate 1 slander 1 slammin' 1 slacks 1 skyscrapers 1 skip 1 skinny 1 skills 1 sites 1 sip's 1 sins 1 singe 1 sing 1 since 1 simpler 1 similarity 1 silverstones 1 silken 1 silhouette 1 silenced 1 signals 1 sighted 1 sight 1 sides 1 sick 1 shutters 1 shut 1 shuffling 1 shrouded 1 shrine 1 shower 1 shovels 1 shop 1 shooting 1 shivers 1 shirt 1 shining 1 shines 1 shine 1 shifts 1 shield 1 shelf 1 sheets 1 sheen 1 shebang 1 shaved 1 shasta 1 shaking 1 shakedown 1 shades 1 shackles 1 sewing 1 seven 1 servers 1 seriously 1 sentence 1 sending 1 send 1 sell 1 selfless 1 seek 1 seeds 1 secret's 1 seas 1 seams 1 scripted 1 scrimped 1 screams 1 schemes 1 scent 1 scarves 1 scarf 1 scale 1 scaffolding 1 says 1 satellites 1 sat 1 sarcastic 1 sarah 1 sappiest 1 sang 1 san 1 saltwater 1 salivating 1 saddens 1 sacred 1 rusted 1 rushed 1 runway 1 rules 1 rule 1 rubber 1 royal 1 row 1 round 1 rotten 1 roman 1 roller 1 rocks 1 rock 1 robot 1 rises 1 ring 1 rights 1 righteous 1 ridge 1 ride 1 revisions 1 returns 1 returning 1 retreat 1 restrictions 1 restlessness 1 restless 1 response 1 resort 1 resolutions 1 resigned 1 resignation 1 reside 1 rescue 1 requiem 1 repressed 1 reports 1 reporting 1 replaced 1 repetition 1 repeats 1 repeating 1 rented 1 reminder 1 remind 1 remembering 1 relief 1 relax 1 reject 1 regardless 1 regal 1 refused 1 refined 1 reeling 1 reeks 1 reeked 1 reduces 1 redemptions 1 records 1 recollect 1 receptors 1 recently 1 receipts 1 receded 1 rearrange 1 realize 1 ready 1 react 1 rays 1 rationed 1 rate's 1 rank 1 ranges 1 random 1 raising 1 raise 1 rail 1 raggedy 1 radios 1 racket 1 quitting 1 quit 1 quips 1 quell 1 queens 1 quarry 1 quarreling 1 pushes 1 purpose 1 purity 1 punks 1 punk 1 pumping 1 pulp 1 proves 1 protect 1 propping 1 proposing 1 proof 1 promise 1 procession 1 problems 1 pristine 1 priest 1 pride 1 prices 1 prevail 1 pretty 1 pretentious 1 pretending 1 pre 1 prayers 1 prayer 1 praising 1 postcards 1 postcard 1 possoibilities 1 possible 1 possibility's 1 position 1 pose 1 porch 1 population's 1 pools 1 politics 1 pointed 1 poets 1 pockets 1 pocket 1 plymouth 1 plumes 1 plots 1 plot 1 plenty 1 pleasantries 1 pleas 1 plea 1 playing 1 playful 1 plate 1 plaster 1 plans 1 plaguing 1 plague 1 pixels 1 piss 1 pink 1 pinhole 1 pinch 1 pillow 1 pillars 1 pigtails 1 pier 1 pieces 1 pictures 1 picture 1 picks 1 picket 1 phrases 1 photos 1 phones'll 1 pews 1 person 1 permission 1 permanence 1 perforated 1 perfectly 1 perfection 1 pension 1 penance 1 pen 1 peered 1 peeled 1 peel 1 peak 1 payroll 1 payment 1 payin' 1 paycheck 1 patrons 1 patio 1 patiently 1 passes 1 passed 1 partyline 1 party 1 parts 1 parks 1 parking 1 parked 1 paris 1 parents' 1 parents 1 parent 1 parapet 1 par 1 panic 1 pangs 1 palms 1 palisades 1 pale 1 painted 1 paint 1 paid 1 page 1 packing 1 pacers 1 overturns 1 overturned 1 overrated 1 overpass 1 overloaded 1 overjoyed 1 overflow 1 overcome 1 outstretched 1 outdo 1 outdated 1 ottoman 1 organ 1 orderly 1 opinions 1 opened 1 oozed 1 onto 1 onset 1 one's 1 oncoming 1 olympia 1 older 1 offense 1 occur 1 occupy 1 obscure 1 objectively 1 nurse 1 numbs 1 numbers 1 note 1 non 1 noises 1 nice 1 next 1 newsstand 1 nerve 1 neighbors 1 needle 1 needed 1 nearby 1 navy 1 natural 1 named 1 mute 1 murals 1 moviescript 1 movement 1 mourning 1 motor 1 mothers 1 mother's 1 most 1 mopped 1 moonlight 1 moon 1 moods 1 monuments 1 months 1 money 1 model 1 mock 1 moat 1 mittens 1 misspellings 1 mississippi 1 mission 1 missing 1 missed 1 misguided 1 mirrored 1 mirages 1 minor 1 mined 1 minds 1 minces 1 millions 1 might 1 midnight 1 midday 1 microchip 1 messes 1 messenger 1 messaged 1 mend 1 memory's 1 melt 1 mellow 1 medians 1 medals 1 measly 1 meaningless 1 meaning 1 maze 1 mattress 1 math 1 mates 1 match 1 masterfully 1 master 1 mary 1 mark 1 marching 1 march 1 manuscript 1 manhattan 1 mangled 1 malls 1 makeshift 1 major 1 main 1 mail 1 magistrate's 1 magazine 1 machines 1 ma 1 m 1 lustrous 1 lust 1 lushing 1 lungs 1 lump 1 luck 1 loyal 1 lowered 1 loves 1 lovely 1 love's 1 lousy 1 loud 1 lot 1 losses 1 loosened 1 loose 1 longest 1 lodged 1 locusts 1 lock 1 loan 1 lives 1 lived 1 lipstick 1 likes 1 lighting 1 lighthouses 1 lighthouse 1 lifts 1 lifetime 1 lies 1 levitate 1 letting 1 letters 1 letter 1 lesson 1 lenses 1 lens 1 lengthwise 1 length 1 lend 1 legal 1 least 1 lean 1 leaks 1 lcd 1 lazy 1 layered 1 laughing 1 laugh 1 lattice 1 latitude 1 lathe 1 later 1 lanes 1 landlocked 1 lamp 1 lame 1 lain 1 laid 1 lady 1 ladder 1 labor 1 knuckles 1 knew' 1 knees 1 knee 1 kiss 1 kings 1 king 1 kinda 1 killed 1 kill 1 kicks 1 kicker 1 kick 1 keyed 1 key 1 kaleidoscope 1 justified 1 junctions 1 jump 1 judgement 1 joylessly 1 join 1 johns 1 jet 1 jealousy 1 jealous 1 jamc 1 jailhouse 1 jacket 1 itself 1 it'll 1 isolations 1 isle 1 islands 1 irreverence 1 irresponsible 1 irrationally 1 invited 1 invincible 1 inventions 1 interstate 1 intersected 1 interest 1 intentioned 1 intentionally 1 integrity 1 innocence 1 inlet 1 ink 1 inhibitions 1 inhale 1 inflicted 1 inflating 1 indoors 1 indicating 1 increasing 1 incomparable 1 incessant 1 impulse 1 impressed 1 impossiblity 1 important 1 impending 1 imagination 1 illegible 1 ignore 1 idle 1 ideals 1 ideal 1 idea 1 icu 1 hurts 1 hurry 1 hunted 1 hunt 1 hundred 1 humid 1 hum 1 hues 1 hudson 1 huddle 1 hovers 1 hot 1 horrible 1 hoping 1 hood 1 homily 1 homemade 1 homeland 1 home's 1 holly 1 hitched 1 hit 1 hipsters 1 hips 1 highways 1 high 1 hide 1 hidden 1 heros 1 hermit 1 here's 1 helplessly 1 helpless 1 hello 1 heavens 1 heavenly 1 heat 1 heart's 1 heal 1 heading 1 haven't 1 haunts 1 hated 1 harm 1 hardwood 1 harder 1 happier 1 happen 1 hammer 1 hallway 1 hadn't 1 habits 1 habit 1 gutters 1 gutter 1 gust 1 gun 1 guestroom 1 guenivere 1 grown 1 group 1 grounding 1 grooves 1 greyhounds 1 greyhound 1 grettings 1 greetings 1 greet 1 greenery 1 greed 1 greater 1 gray 1 gravitated 1 graves 1 gravel 1 grasp 1 grapevines 1 granite 1 grand 1 grace 1 grabbed 1 gossip 1 goodnight 1 goodbyes 1 glowed 1 glow 1 glove 1 gloomy 1 glitches 1 glimpses 1 gleam 1 glared 1 glances 1 glacial 1 girlie 1 girl's 1 gift 1 giants 1 geography 1 generator's 1 gears 1 gas 1 garbage 1 game 1 gallows 1 gag 1 furrowed 1 fund 1 fumbling 1 fulfilled 1 fuel 1 frozen 1 frowns 1 fronts 1 frolicked 1 fringe 1 frightfully 1 frighteningly 1 frightened 1 friction 1 freshest 1 freeway 1 freckles 1 francisco 1 framing 1 framed 1 fragile 1 foul 1 forwards 1 forth 1 former 1 formed 1 formal 1 forgiveness 1 forewarned 1 footsteps 1 fooled 1 fonder 1 follows 1 folds 1 folding 1 focusing 1 flying 1 flushed 1 flowers 1 flow 1 floors 1 floorboard 1 floes 1 floating 1 flinging 1 fleeting 1 flee 1 fled 1 flaw 1 flattered 1 flatlands 1 flat 1 flashes 1 flashbulbs 1 firsts 1 firm 1 firemen 1 firecrackers 1 finish 1 fingertips 1 fingertip 1 finds 1 finding 1 filthy 1 filter 1 films 1 figurines 1 figures 1 fields 1 fictions 1 fiberoptics 1 fence 1 feed 1 federales 1 fed 1 features 1 feathers 1 fears 1 faulty 1 fate 1 faraway 1 fantasies 1 fanned 1 fallen 1 faking 1 fake 1 faith 1 fail 1 fabric 1 expressions 1 explosions 1 explode 1 explanation 1 expense 1 expel 1 exit 1 exist 1 excuses 1 excited 1 exceptionally 1 exactly 1 everywhere 1 everytime 1 everything's 1 everyday 1 eroding 1 erasing 1 envy 1 envisioned 1 entertained 1 entertain 1 engaged 1 energy 1 endure 1 endlessly 1 encapsulate 1 employee 1 embers 1 embarrassed 1 else's 1 elegantly 1 elegant 1 eiffel 1 egos 1 edge 1 echo 1 eastern 1 dyes 1 dust 1 dumpster 1 dumping 1 dummy 1 dug 1 due 1 dry 1 drunks 1 drum 1 driveway 1 drips 1 drink 1 dresser 1 dreadful 1 drawn 1 drawers 1 drank 1 drama 1 drained 1 drag 1 downturn 1 downslide 1 dotted 1 doom 1 donor 1 dj's 1 divulge 1 division 1 divide 1 distorting 1 dissolving 1 dissolve 1 disruption 1 disputed 1 display 1 dishes 1 disguise 1 disgrace 1 discouraged 1 disconnect 1 disclosure 1 disarray 1 disappearing 1 dirty 1 dirt 1 direness 1 direction 1 dipping 1 dip 1 dinner 1 diminishing 1 diffusing 1 differences 1 difference 1 diet 1 dies 1 dialogs 1 devouring 1 devour 1 devoted 1 destroy 1 destinations 1 destination 1 desperate 1 despair 1 desire 1 deserted 1 descending 1 descended 1 deposit 1 depend 1 denver 1 demons 1 delicate 1 degrees 1 degraded 1 definitely 1 defined 1 define 1 defense 1 defacing 1 deeper 1 deem 1 deck 1 december's 1 deceive 1 deceit 1 decades 1 debt 1 debate 1 dealt 1 dazzling 1 daydreaming 1 dawn 1 daughter's 1 date 1 dash 1 darlin' 1 dangerous 1 dancehall 1 danced 1 dam 1 dakotas 1 cutthroat 1 cuts 1 cute 1 curtains 1 cursing 1 curse 1 current 1 curled 1 cups 1 cupped 1 culver 1 cue 1 crying 1 crust 1 crumbling 1 crumbled 1 crossing 1 crosses 1 crooked 1 crimson 1 crest 1 creek 1 creases 1 creaping 1 cranes 1 cracked 1 crack 1 courting 1 course 1 council's 1 could've 1 corrupting 1 correct 1 cornerbooth 1 core 1 cord 1 convince 1 conviction 1 control 1 continue 1 contest 1 contact 1 constellations 1 constantly 1 console 1 consequence 1 conscious 1 connections 1 congregation 1 confused 1 conduit 1 condos 1 conclude 1 conception 1 concept 1 comprise 1 compress 1 compliment 1 compete 1 compartment 1 compared 1 compare 1 company 1 committing 1 coming 1 comfortable 1 combing 1 colored 1 collision 1 collegiate 1 collapsing 1 colder 1 codes 1 cocktail 1 coats 1 coaster 1 coalinga 1 clove 1 cloth 1 closing 1 cliffs 1 clearly 1 cleansing 1 cleaning 1 classes 1 clasped 1 clanking 1 cityscapes 1 churches 1 church 1 chose 1 chords 1 choose 1 choking 1 choke 1 chock 1 chitter 1 chill 1 childish 1 chicago 1 chest 1 cherry 1 cheer 1 cheeks 1 checked 1 chatter 1 chased 1 charming 1 charmed 1 charity 1 changing 1 changed 1 champagne 1 chalks 1 century 1 centered 1 center 1 cemetery 1 celestial 1 caving 1 cave 1 causing 1 caught 1 catch 1 casualty 1 casual 1 castle 1 cast 1 casino 1 casing 1 case 1 cascading 1 cartoon 1 carry 1 carpet 1 carousel 1 carnival 1 cardigan 1 card 1 capturing 1 captured 1 capture 1 capsizing 1 capsize 1 caps 1 capable 1 cap 1 canyon 1 candid 1 calls 1 called 1 californ 1 calgary 1 cage 1 cafeteria 1 cabin 1 buzzers 1 buying 1 buy 1 butt 1 bury 1 bursting 1 burns 1 buried 1 burden 1 bumper 1 bumming 1 bum 1 bullets 1 bruises 1 bruised 1 bruise 1 brows 1 brought 1 brooklyn 1 brittle 1 bringing 1 brilliant 1 brightly 1 brightest 1 bride 1 bribes 1 breed 1 breaths 1 breathing 1 breath 1 breaking 1 breach 1 braved 1 brave 1 brand 1 brainstem 1 brainless 1 brain's 1 bracing 1 brace 1 boy's 1 boxers 1 box 1 bowties 1 boundaries 1 boulevard 1 bough 1 bottoms 1 bottles 1 bottle's 1 borders 1 bold 1 bodies' 1 bob 1 boats 1 blustery 1 blurred 1 blur 1 bluffs 1 bluer 1 bluebird 1 blossoms 1 blooms 1 blooming 1 blood 1 bloc 1 blissful 1 blips 1 blink 1 blinds 1 blinded 1 blew 1 blessings 1 bless 1 bleeding 1 bled 1 blatant 1 blasting 1 blanks 1 blank 1 blacking 1 blackest 1 bixby 1 bitterness 1 bite 1 bind 1 binary 1 billings 1 billboards 1 bill 1 bike 1 bigger 1 bible 1 beyond 1 betrayed 1 berlin 1 belongs 1 bellow 1 begun 1 begged 1 beer 1 bedroom 1 beating 1 beak 1 beacons 1 beacon 1 bathe 1 bath 1 basically 1 basement 1 based 1 barstools 1 barefoot 1 banks 1 bank 1 bangkok 1 bandwidth 1 backwashed 1 backfired 1 awful 1 awakes 1 autumn's 1 audiences 1 attraction 1 attitudes 1 attitude 1 attic 1 attend 1 attempts 1 attempting 1 attempt 1 attack 1 attached 1 asterisks 1 assuredly 1 assigned 1 asked 1 ashes 1 ascribed 1 ascensions 1 artifacts 1 arriving 1 arrives 1 arrange 1 arguments 1 arches 1 arch 1 appropriate 1 appetites 1 appeared 1 appear 1 anyways 1 answers 1 another's 1 angry 1 angels 1 amputee 1 amplify 1 amphetamines 1 amount 1 amongst 1 ambition 1 amaze 1 aloud 1 alley 1 alibi 1 alcoholic 1 alarmed 1 alarm 1 airport 1 airplanes 1 air's 1 aimless 1 aiming 1 aim 1 agree 1 ages 1 age's 1 afraid 1 advantage 1 addictions 1 actors' 1 ached 1 account 1 accidents 1 abuse 1 absorbing 1 absence 1 abscence 1 able 1 abhor 1 abandon 1 'round
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SHOT 2017/My tales of adventure in Las Vegas

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
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